When you knew you were to become a mum you likely had an image of the parent you were going to be in your head. For me it was some kind of Earth mother, no stress, cloth nappy, breast feeding, living outdoors kind of mum. To be honest the image of this mum is still inside me somewhere. Then it feels more like a chaotic and imperfect life that you find hard to embrace.
We have images of what perfect means thrown at us all the time. A scroll through Instagram and there are mums creating reels of their perfect days out, there’s those mums who are creating artwork style snack for their kids. Now don’t get me wrong I love me a snack platter but I’ve not got time or patience to make penguins out of olives, cheese & radish. Besides no matter what shape some food is in my kids wouldn’t eat it any way.
Then we have a hop onto YouTube watching cleaning montages or “clean with me” vlogs Those carpets with the lines in and all of the rooms done in a min. I’ve even heard of someone trying to keep up with someone who was cleaning on a vlog not realising that it was actually sped up.
Now if the above are your thing that’s great. Everyone has a thing they love and are good at but we don’t have to do it all. We don’t have to have a show home and kids in matching pjs to be a good mum to our children. I went through the stress of trying to make mine wear matching. It just not worth it.
I’ve made myself so overwhelmed trying to create a perfect life, trying to make our family look perfect from the outside yet inside we were hitting crisis point. Behind the closed doors I was failing miserably at trying to “get it all done” as the YouTube vlogs are titled.
It wasn’t until I had that moment that made me reevaluate how we were living that I really noticed just how much I had got sucked into striving for perfectionism.
The best way to stop the perfectionism cycle is to start being more authentic with yourself. Really look at how you live and how you want to live. The things you love, the time you realistically have.
5 ways embrace imperfect motherhood.
- Stop looking at social media as the bar thats been set for motherhood. Instagram is fabulous for inspiration but you must remember that often the squares you see are just one corner of the story. often behind that photo is lego all over the floor, yesterday’s pots still in the sink and a toddler that is only playing nice now because they were given sweets or chocolate as a bribe.
- Think back to your childhood moments, those moments where you were truly happy and in the moment. How many memories were preplanned, with matching outfits, penguin olives and vacuum lined carpets?
- Instead of striving for perfect, live for making the best life. Love what you live and live what you love.
- Surround yourself with positive energy. When we live more positively we are able to embrace those not so perfect moments more positively.
- Understand that imperfections are what make you human. We cant make ourselves perfect (in fact striving to become perfect can actually be more harmful) but we can change our reactions to our imperfect. Embrace that imperfect.
You may not be the perfect mum, but you are the best mum to those kids.It’s time to ditch that mum guilt, create your own groove, and start living a life with more fulfilment & passion for the things that truly matter.
If you want to be part of the community of imperfect mums who are in their groove head over to the CMT community ( Facebook.com/groups/Chaoticmotherhoodtribe)to have conversations about perfectionism, overwhelm, #mumlife and more.
See you next time.