July word of the month.

June Update

June was a tough month both mentally and physically.

During June I made the decision to send the kids back to school.

Chris spent quite a bit of time working away. And I really suffer with my mental wellbeing when he is away.

It also hard bloody work solo parenting when he is away.

However June also saw lots of fun things

Lots of birthdays and Fathers Day.

Lots of outdoor play

Fun in the sun, splashing about in the pool, climbing tree and feeding ducks at the local National Trust property. Raising funds for The Jessop Wing at Sheffield, lots of Parklife, a couple of working trips for me and the big kids.

It also involved a new style for me.

July

But now July is here.

June’s word of the Month was self-care.

I’m still suffering with my Health however I’ve decided to focus my word on the season this Month.

So Julys Word is Summer!

I’ll be focusing on having summer fun during the Month.

Starting off with a trip to our favourite place – Lanzarote.

Then the kids are hearing back to school for transition.

Before I head off to an unofficial WI camp with 500 other women from across the country.

Summer bucket lists will be drawn up for the school holidays.

And back to school in September will be planned for.

So there you have it that’s my plans for July.

What are you up to?

Have your kids already broken up from school or have you got wait until The end of the month?

Leave a comment and let me know your July word of the Month

Nina x

Vow To Be The Perfect Parent?

Last week we went to watch Jason Manford. He was hilarious however one of his jokes really resonated with me. I suppose that’s why I find him so funny, the jokes are funny because they are true.

The joke was set up around the fact that everyone has two versions of our self. The version on the right being the one that is perfect, drives well, doesn’t swear, keeps fit and is the best parent in the world.

Then there’s the one on the left, the person we actually are. the road rage driver, the sweary Mc’sweary pants, the one who eats junk food on the way home from the gym. the parent that shouts, and loses patience with our children. The parent that gives them the electronic baby sitter just to get a cuppa, the one who wishes they could be that perfect parent 24 hours a day.

Unfortunately non of us are perfect, not one. If someone thinks they are or says they are they are lying.

What’s the point I’m trying to make?

Well its like this a few weeks ago a boy local to us was tragically knocked down on his way home from school the boy was only a few years older than my eldest two. The boy was taken to hospital but could not be saved.

When this happened a lot of parents I know and myself said we would vow to become better parents, not shout at their kids so much, teach them the dangers of the world but not scare them in the process, they would keep a closer eye on their children. a week or two passed and although the boy hasn’t been forgotten about the vows to be that perfect parent had.

Until last week!

Last week a girl Jake & Melody went to nursery with died suddenly. She was 6 years old. her life ahead of her. Her dad is an old school friend of mine and is still good friends with my cousin. The girl was 6. SIX years old. I can’t even begin to think how her mum and dad are feeling.

Also last week an old school friend of mine died of cancer. (She had battled it for years) She was obviously not a child in the sense of age but her mum is still her mum and in her eyes she was still her child! Her mum once said to me “you know what, she sometimes just rings me to go round so that she can sit on my knee for a cuddle!”

Again I just can’t imagine and pray, to whoever, I never have to go through the loss of a child.

But these tragedies always bring our right hand self to the front of our brains the one who wants to be perfect.

The past week or so, me and hubby have vowed to be a better parent, the one who doesn’t yell, the one who says yes, The perfect parent with kids who have brushed hair & teeth and a decent breakfast in their bellies before they go to school, all without shouting.

As I said before no one is perfect. This idea of a perfect parent is great in principle but life gets in the way. We often shout to protect our children, like when they are about to walk into the road, or climb up a wall that’s too high. Our own fears kick in and we shout. Sometimes we get upset as our children have broken a toy that cost a lot of money, our emotions kick in and we shout because of the money that has been lost now the toy is broken.

The trouble is once we have shouted we get mum or dad guilt that we’ve upset our kids, or guilt that some people would give anything to be able to have that school run stress with their child.

That said I do want to be a better parent, I want to stop shouting, swearing, and be present more. especially when we start our new home education journey. When we are together a lot more of the time we are bound to have disagreements but we all need to be in a better place in order to deal with them.

Here are 5 ways I think I can be the better parent (Remember I said better, not perfect. There is no such thing)

Sleep

Me – Being tired is a big contributor to my “shouty” me. Sometimes lack of sleep can’t be avoided as a parent but I need to try to get a better nights sleep.

Kids – If the kids are tired they get whingy, I need to make sure they also get enough sleep.

Screens

Me – When I am trying to do something either on my phone or laptop I know I can lose patience, especially if what I’m trying to do doesn’t go well or needs a lot of concentration. I need to start doing these tasks when the kids are in bed, or are engrossed in their own tasks

Kids – Screen time needs to be limited, they often get into something and then don’t listen when they are asked to do something. or they get upset when I say it’s time to switch off.

Outdoors

Me – I already know that being outdoors is better for my wellbeing and therefore I am a much better person for getting outside. If I’ve had time in the outdoors I am less stressed and more present.

Kids – Kids often feel penned in when they haven’t been able to play outside. I need to make more of an effort to get out even if the weather is not great.

Talk

Instead of constantly shouting orders and instructions,   I need to explain why things can be  dangerous. Set up routines so the kids know what is expected, use other ways to discipline other than shouting.

Dont Stress

Try to keep stress to a minimum, I know this can be hard, but it will help to stay calmer in heated situations.

But also try not to stress when you do have a moment of being that left-sided you. The you that just can’t help but shout. Make sure afterwards you explain what made you mad or sad. Explain that sometimes we all become that left sided person and that’s ok.

I hope those connected to the recent tragedies can one day find light, I just want them to know they are thought about each and every day.

Nina x

It’ll be Lonely this Christmas.

In the news last week was an article that made me shed a tear or two.

It’s something that really pulls at my heart.

dreamstime_xxl_77455269.jpg

It’s being lonely. It’s an awful feeling to be alone. At Christmas time it can be even worse. It can bring back memories of family members long gone, feelings of sadness that you no longer have that magic during the festive season.

The report says almost one million older people will be alone this Christmas.

I really hope that when I get to old age my family will still be around and will never let me feel lonely.

What can we do to help??

  • Volunteer to become a befriender with a charity like age.
  • Keep an eye out for elderly neighbours – Drop them some mince pies in on Xmas eve, or offer to pick up some shopping.
  • Say hello to someone in the street, ask how they are and listen to their response.
  • Make an extra meal and take it to someone you know are on their own.
  • Offer to do some household jobs like changing a bulb, or taking out the bin on bin day.
  • At this time of year why not offer to put up some decorations and take them down again at the end of the festive period.
  • Wrap them up a gift. A hamper could be a good idea if you don’t know them very well.

Whatever you do to help will not only benefit them but helping others can contribute to your own sense of wellbeing!

I’m personally going to wrap a couple of hampers for local people and deliver them with the kids.

I want to show them that it’s important not to forget people especially at this time of year.

 

Nina x

Places to volunteer

Age UK

Contact The Elderly 

Royal Voluntary Service 

 

 

World Mental Health Day – My Story

Hi All,

Today Is World Mental Health day, Each year The world health organisation recognises World Mental health Day

mental-health

This year the theme is psychological first aid!

You can read more about it over on the mental health foundation website!

To help with Mental health issues we are encouraged to talk more openly about mental health so today around the country hundreds of people will be gathering in a fundraising initiative called Tea & Talk.

So today I am welcoming you for a cuppa with me as I tell you my mental health story!

If you would like to know more about mental health day or Tea & Talk head on over to the mental health foundation website!

If you enjoyed this cuppa & Chat Please make a donation here

And please like comment and subscribe for more videos from me!

img_0216-1

Autumn is Coming – Finding Hygge

Hi All,

Thursday is the first day of autumn and for once I am ready for it.

20160919_135305_LLS-2.jpg

I am ready for the jumpers and boots and scarves. I’m ready  to take the kids jumping in puddles. I’m ready for long Sunday walks in the woods to collect pine cones for crafting.

In previous years I have suffered more with my mental health in the cooler less sunny months. I’m not sure It’s as bad as seasonal effective disorder but I do feel more anxiety.

So this year I am preparing for the duller days in advance. So far I have bought a new bulb for my lumie light so that I can wake to a sunshine simulation even when the mornings are dark.

I am filling my cupboards with vitamins and I am going to make an effort to get outside even in the rain!

A couple of weeks ago I bought a book all about Hygge  (pronounced Hue-Gah)- The Danish are the happiest nation apparently yet they have the longest winter days. however they embrace the dark and fill it with hygge.

I have set my self the intention to live a hygge Autumn/ Winter – Embracing the darkness filling it with cosy things!

SAMSUNG CSC

I have set up a Pinterest board to help me find inspiration and I have already reorganised my living room to a more cosy layout.

So what is Hygge?

Well there is no direct translation Hygge Is a noun, its thought to mean a warm and fuzzy feeling, cosyness and general feeling of inside warmth.

What are the main points to consider when trying to embrace Hygge?

Lighting – Low level warm lighting. Think fairy lights, toned down lamps, and more often candles.

Blankets – Warm comfy blankets, throws, something you can throw over you when it is a little chilly outside.

Activities – Non screen activities like needle craft, board games, telling stories, singing. to name a few.

Singing – This is thought to be an important part of Hygge. Singing releases endorphin’s making you feel good. as well as a whole host of other benefits.

Friends / Family – Although hygge can be embraced on your own why not grab a group of friends and or family and embrace together.

Food – Autumnal style food is considered hyggelig think soups, stews, crumbles, hot chocolate, mulled wine or cider.

So now I have armed myself with the principles of Hygge I will be trying my best to make these colder months feel more Hygge.

SAMSUNG CSC

 
I am not an expert this is just my opnions on hygge.