But what’s changed?

As I’m sure your aware in August 2017 I was told the news that I had a rare but life threatening pregnancy complication. I faced my ultimate fear, death!

I vowed in the days before my surgery (and afterwards when I had a twisted bowel and then later gallstones) that I would be a better person, I vowed to change, to live life better.

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So we are now a year past my last operation and what’s changed?

Well I took the kids out of school for a bit. Looking for a life of travel and life education. But when your solo parenting 4 its just not that easy. When you have a Aldi lemonade budget but want to live a Waitrose Prosecco lifestyle it was never going to work. Besides Jake struggled with the fact he still had to do “school” work.

I ate better for a bit. Then as the fear of the pain eased the chocolate & fish n chips creeped back in.

I returned to swimming and after a short break have now returned again.

I’ve took up doing a 20 min walk 3 times a week. (Up until we all got sick & the cold snap hit. It’s no fun walking up a steep hill with a pushchair when it’s like a skate rink.)

Unfortunately as a family we seem to have drifted further apart lately. Chris works long hours and travels away quite a bit with work.

Don’t get me wrong we had some amazing trips in 2018 but him working the hours he does and only living pay check to pay check is tough for us all.

So what has really changed?

Well

I’m still feeling lost with who I am. Where I want to be.

I had such plans last year maybe it was the adrenaline from the fear of dying that spurred me on.

It’s like we’re stuck in a bit of a rut waiting for a better life. Waiting for the kids to grow. Waiting until we’re in a better financial place.

What’s next?

Well I want to figure out what I can do as a career. I have often said in the past that I want to make this blog and social media a way of making income but I all honesty I don’t think I’m cut out for it.

I think I’ve lost my passion for blogging a little because I’m trying to hard to make it work as a business. I’ve lost sight of my ‘why’.

I need to crack on with my #fitfor40 because that big number will be here in a flash.

I need to figure out a way to get our family living a better relationship. Stop the fighting and negativity.

Make the most of life. Breath in every second.

Outlook.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll be back here in a year with the same post wishing I’d lived better for the past year. Maybe this time is the time. Our time to find a better way to live life!

I just want to say thank-you to all of you that have supported me over the past year and a half or more.

To those that live in my phone and take the time to comment, ask how I’m doing, and support from afar. You help me each and every day.

Those that are there in my real life I don’t know what I would do without you.

So thank-you from the bottom of my heart.

Until next time.

Nina x

Word Of The Month – January

Last year I set my self some goals to be healthier, declutter and make my blogging my job. An income stream. Then I found out I was pregnant. With not one but two more babies and everything went on hold. This year I’ve not set any New Years resolutions or recalled planned my goals out. Instead, I will plan my goals monthly. Taking each month as it comes. I can’t really plan much due to waiting for my gallstone op. I know it’s not going to put me out for a long time but I am going to need time to rest afterward.

Anyway, that said I have decided to give each month a title. What I will focus on each month.

January – Fit

January is all about becoming fit for my operation. Trying to get my body and mind ready so that complications are limited and recovery is quicker.

Here is what I plan to do to get fit for my op.

  • Swimming 3 times a week. I have joined the spa and my aim is to attend at least 3 times a week. I don’t pressure myself into lap times or amount of laps. I just swim. It keeps me moving and helps to clear my mind.
  • Hitting my 10,000 steps. I’m sure I already do this but sometimes I don’t put my watch on until halfway through the morning. By this time I’ve already hit a lot of my steps.
  • 30 mins workout. I want to try and get into a habit of doing a 30 min workout at least 3 times a week. Movement is so important for your body and mind. When you work your heart and lungs by exercising it strengthens them Helping your organs be as fit as they can when you go to surgery.
  • Yoga. Yoga helps me focus. It helps me to breath and it stretches my body.
  • Mindfulness. I really need to prepare my mind as well as my body. Mindfulness can really help me remember to breathe, to live more in the moment and to focus on what’s important.
  • Vitamins. I’m not sure I get enough of what I need from my diet, so taking a multivitamin with added vitamin D is important. At this time of the year especially there is not much vitamin D to be had from the light we get from the sun here in the UK.
  • Diet. The reason for the operation is my gallstones. So I’ve had no choice but to cut out a lot of fat and grease from my diet. Not unless I want to end up in severe pain and then ultimately in a&e as I just can’t cope with the pain.

This is my plan however with a set of school-age twins and a set of baby twins I’m aware that this may seem like a lot. However, if I want to be fit and ready for my op I think I need to at least try.

What word would you give to January? Have you made any goals or resolutions? Leave in the comments how else you think I could get ready for my op!

I’ll update at the beginning of February how I get on and what my word of the month will be for February.

Nina x

Fitness Friday – So close!

If you follow my instagram feed and My Fitness Pal account  you will see that from Monday I started logging my food & tracking my steps –

I started the week quite terrible – It was my birthday on Monday so my food included chocolate cake! and as we had been camping over the weekend my watch was flat so I couldn’t track my steps either!

However as the week progresses I have done a lot better. I got up to 8500 steps on Wednesday – This was walking J & M to holiday club I also managed to fit a swimming session in too!

This morning I was hopeful that I could have hit the 10000 with a holiday club run and some free time for a walk around the village – Unfortunately M was poorly in the night and having a day off from Holiday club so you will have to check out my instagram feed later to see how I got on!

I thought I could also fit in a swim today but again with M off I couldn’t take her with me! Also My time of the month just arrived and she’s makes herself well-known so I’m just going to end up having a lazy day I think!

Updates

I’ve rejoined the Spa! – The motivation to swim there is so much better I feel so much more relaxed there!

Next step is to get up earlier and get a yoga sequence in before J & M get up. Yoga makes me feel so much better for the day ahead.

This past week knowing that you are following my progress has been my motivation, so this week my plan is a “a week of yoga” vlog on my YouTube channel.

The video will hopefully go live at the same time as next weeks Fitness Friday post.

To see how I get on don’t forget to subscribe to my Channel, Follow my Instagram feed & Follow me here on my blog!

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