But what’s changed?

As I’m sure your aware in August 2017 I was told the news that I had a rare but life threatening pregnancy complication. I faced my ultimate fear, death!

I vowed in the days before my surgery (and afterwards when I had a twisted bowel and then later gallstones) that I would be a better person, I vowed to change, to live life better.

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So we are now a year past my last operation and what’s changed?

Well I took the kids out of school for a bit. Looking for a life of travel and life education. But when your solo parenting 4 its just not that easy. When you have a Aldi lemonade budget but want to live a Waitrose Prosecco lifestyle it was never going to work. Besides Jake struggled with the fact he still had to do “school” work.

I ate better for a bit. Then as the fear of the pain eased the chocolate & fish n chips creeped back in.

I returned to swimming and after a short break have now returned again.

I’ve took up doing a 20 min walk 3 times a week. (Up until we all got sick & the cold snap hit. It’s no fun walking up a steep hill with a pushchair when it’s like a skate rink.)

Unfortunately as a family we seem to have drifted further apart lately. Chris works long hours and travels away quite a bit with work.

Don’t get me wrong we had some amazing trips in 2018 but him working the hours he does and only living pay check to pay check is tough for us all.

So what has really changed?

Well

I’m still feeling lost with who I am. Where I want to be.

I had such plans last year maybe it was the adrenaline from the fear of dying that spurred me on.

It’s like we’re stuck in a bit of a rut waiting for a better life. Waiting for the kids to grow. Waiting until we’re in a better financial place.

What’s next?

Well I want to figure out what I can do as a career. I have often said in the past that I want to make this blog and social media a way of making income but I all honesty I don’t think I’m cut out for it.

I think I’ve lost my passion for blogging a little because I’m trying to hard to make it work as a business. I’ve lost sight of my ‘why’.

I need to crack on with my #fitfor40 because that big number will be here in a flash.

I need to figure out a way to get our family living a better relationship. Stop the fighting and negativity.

Make the most of life. Breath in every second.

Outlook.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll be back here in a year with the same post wishing I’d lived better for the past year. Maybe this time is the time. Our time to find a better way to live life!

I just want to say thank-you to all of you that have supported me over the past year and a half or more.

To those that live in my phone and take the time to comment, ask how I’m doing, and support from afar. You help me each and every day.

Those that are there in my real life I don’t know what I would do without you.

So thank-you from the bottom of my heart.

Until next time.

Nina x

2018 A year in review!

Well I hope you’ve all had an amazing Christmas and are ready to head into 2019! Can you believe we are the end of the year already?

Health

So much has happened this year I started the Year poorly with Gallstones since then Ive had my entire Gallbladder removed.

All of the children came down with chicken pox! At least its all over and done with. You can only catch it once right?

I rejoined the spa that I was a member at so that I could start swimming again only to lapse after my gallbladder op!

I also vowed to become healthier and eat better! Again after my gallbladder came out I fell back into old ways.

As soon as the dark nights hit my mental Health deteriorated again and I’m currently working on reducing my stress and actively trying to do things to cut my anxiety!

Travel

This year I was adamant that I was going to make the most of life, give our family amazing memories and explore new places.

We started the year at a forest lodge in the middle of Norfolk  Soaking up the forest and hoping in the hottub!

We also headed to the Norfolk coast to the amazing Mill Farm Eco Barn It was such an amazing holiday for all of our family we spent time at the beach, evenings at the arcades playing the slot machines, We ate fish n chips and in true Spencer style took mystery road trips by looking at a map and just driving!

Before the Summer Holidays hit We hopped on a plane to our favorite destination for the littlest twins first holiday abroad. Lanzarote is like our second home!

Towards the end of the summer Holidays we surprised the kids with a train ride to France and more importantly to Disneyland! I think me and Chris were as excited if not more than the kids. Its just so magical.

Homeschool

We took the kids out of school to try our hand at home schooling. there just wasn’t enough hours in the day to get everything done.

I really admire everyone who is on the home school journey but at the moment it’s not for me. I barely have any time while they are at school to get everything done that I want to.

Work, money, Blogging

Ive learnt this year that I’m shit at money. I posted through the year about our family hitting crisis point. In life and in money. Unfortunately barely anything has changed

I really need to get a grip of our finances this new year. It a big source of stress for us all.

I haven’t been consistent enough online to hit those magic “influencer” numbers. I have to realise I have a family and home that come before you all. I remembered through the year though I share our life because I like doing it. I like being creative. I have lost a little of my creativity on my insta grid lately in favour of just getting the post up for consistency. I want to use my creativity more and set up photos yes I know people see this as fake sometimes but I like the creative aspect of it. My dad when I was younger was always playing around with setting up photographs of wine and cheese boards etc.

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I think that’s about it for my 2018 round up.

Thanks for joining us this year and being part of our family.

I hope you’ll stick around in 2019 for more chaos, adventures, and creativity.

Happy New Year.

Nina x

November Word Of The Month

November is one more step closer to Christmas.  Not far away from a brand new year!

Its time for getting ready for the festive month ahead.

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This months word is going to be ‘Gather’

Gather gifts ready for Christmas.

I have already bought and stored a few but I really want to get on top of buying gifts this year I hate it when I still have things to wrap on Christmas eve!

Gather thoughts to calm the anxiety that has been building over the past few weeks.

If you follow my instagram you will have seen that my anxiety has been making an appearance over the last few weeks. I really need to take some time to gather my thought, breath and be more mindful.

Gather with family to reconnect a little as this is something that has been lacking lately. Chris works so many hours and works away a quite a bit. when he gets home he is tired and stressed out from his work we need to take some time out together. I also think the big twins are feeling pushed out a little with the little twins taking up so much of our time. I also want to try and reconnect with them.

So gather is my word this month!

What  is your word for this month? what plans do you have for November? Leave a comment let me know.

Catch you soon

Nina x

October recap. Anxiety, Christmas,

Oh October. You’ve had some highs and lows.

With Autumn colds and snuffles hitting us hard in the house the boiler breaking wasn’t welcomed I can tell you.

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Then when mason decided to take a bath in some bleach my anxiety hit the roof and we all fell out.

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Hopefully we’re getting back together now and lessons have been learned. Thankfully no one was hurt except mummy’s anxiety.

But this month has seen.

Christmas a Christmas fair, Halloween shenanigans, a sciencey trip to London and a footbally trip to Manchester.

It has seen me embracing cleaning rather than dreading it. Using the organised mum method,

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I’ve also managed a few early mornings to give me some space to enjoy a cuppa alone.

We ended October with a trip to the theatre and trick or treating.

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Wow what a busy month.

I’m excited for the November and December. Christmas is such a busy and magical time for us.

Nina. X

If your new around here. Thanks for joining me and my family on our adventures. We would love you to stick around.

Why not follow us daily on instagram, weekly you can catch our weekend vlogs on YouTube.

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We would love to have you around.

October Videos



Surviving the half term.

Ok many of you have already broke for half term but for us. We are not quite there yet.

The last week lurgy seems to have hit the house including me. If it doesn’t go soon a fear that I may be poorly for half term.

Four children in a house for a week will get a little stressy I feel.

I’m creating a plan using the tips below to try and remain calm during half term.

So here are my tips to surviving the autumn half term.

  1. Get outside. Even if you feel full of cold. Do your best, wrap everyone up warm if you have to. If it’s wet get those wellies out. But get outside. Fresh air really tire people out and it is so good for everyone’s wellbeing. Even if you just head to the local farm for eggs, or walk round the block looking for the last of the conkers or to splash in puddles. Anything to get out.

  2. Soft play. – I know I know. It can be hellish in the holidays. But it saves them climbing on your sofas. You could take a book or your laptop and get a bit of work done. If you find a soft play with good coffee you on to a proper winner.

  3. Craft Box. – ok wait. Hear me out. Get out some paper on the kitchen table or floor. Let them create some autumn pictures or Halloween crafts. Use their own imagination. Maybe put some ideas on your iPad and show them a couple of they are older ones. They could be left alone while you wash pots or put a load of washing in. At the end you can just scoop up the newspaper and create minimal mess.

  4. Snack & Meal Plans. – if you already have plans in place and snacks at the ready you won’t have to deal with hangry kids. I think that’s enough said!

  5. Quiet time. – catch some quite time. I have 14 month old twins as well as my 6 year old twins. We try and get quiet time nap times. Put a movie on or let them have their iPads for an hour or so in an afternoon. Movie afternoons could be complimented by hot chocolate and popcorn.

  6. Online shop. I don’t know about you be my four are a bit of a nightmare to take shopping all at once. If i need to do a grocery shop. I try and book an online shop. It’s so much easier than trying to think what I need with children want want wanting all around the store.

  7. Local events. Search through Facebook or the local paper and see what events are happening nearby.

  8. Tea party. – I’ve spoken about food and hangry kids. But why not supersede your kids with a little tea party. Maybe a Halloween themed one. With spooky snacks and spider balloons.

  9. Breakfast in bed. Before the little twins came along there was nothing my big twins liked more than when I made tea and a plate full of toast and brought a tray up to my bed for a lazy breakfast.

  10. Go with the flow. Life is always an adventure in our house I always try to make a plan but sometimes as I’ve said people fall ill or have a bad night. So I try and go with the flow. See how everyone is feeling. Throw out the meal plans, get in the car and head to McDonalds instead.

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Leave in the comments what you le top tips Are for surviving the holidays.

Nina. X

Missing the Newborn Days

When I counted your age in weeks I understood you a little better,

I could distinguish what cry was for what,

I could put you down and know you would still be in the same spot when I returned from the toilet.

Yes the sleepless nights were long but they were my chance to breath you in. To get to know you.

When I counted your age in weeks I was still in that bubble, still in that euphoric place where you could do no wrong.

The new born days are beautiful.

It’s true what people say, make the most of them. Time goes so fast. They will have grown before you know it.

At 13 months. I’m struggling.

I’ve lost any ability to decipher your noises.

The sleepless nights now are because you are poorly and it breaks my heart I can’t make you feel better.

Sleepless nights now seem hard work. I can’t just feed you back to sleep.

When I put you down now your off in a flash.

You are toddling around more than you crawl.

There is no chance I can leave you to nip to the toilet.

Nothing 2ft high is safe from your grasp.

The toddler years feel so much harder for me.

But we will get there. I know we will I’ve done it before even if you haven’t.

For now just trust me when I say your safe, when I say im coming back, when you think I’m trying to poison you with foods you don’t like.

Oh littlest twins. Toddler years are such a bumpy ride. But We can do this.

We can do this because you have both developed your own little personalities.

You are learning everyday. Developing and learning.

You are amazing little humans just like your big brother & sister.

That’s why I wanted to write this little post. To remind myself now matter how tough it is you are amazing!

Mummy. X

Word of the Month October

Welcome back to this months word of the month.

Can you actually believe that including this month there is only 3 months left of this year!

I know its gone by so fast.

Last months word or in-fact phrase was Back To It.  I wanted to get back to a better routine and better fitness and back on the school run!

I have to say September has been hard. Getting back into the school routine has took its toll on all of us and our stress levels have been high!

The house is a tip and we have hit an all time low in the house!

I’m not sure if its the passing of the summer, the stress of the morning routine, or just par the course of having two sets of twins!

But we have to get back to better ground in the Spencer household.

Thats why this Month our word is going to be Appreciate!

We have to start appreciating what we have as a family, Appreciate the good in each day and appreciate who we are!

I will be going back to writing in my gratitude diary and asking the kids what they are grateful for each day!

We are getting rid of clutter in the house so that we can see our favorite possessions and appreciate them more.

I really hope it gets us all back on track!

Whats your word of the Month?

Any tips for getting us all back on track?

See you next time

Nina x