But what’s changed?

As I’m sure your aware in August 2017 I was told the news that I had a rare but life threatening pregnancy complication. I faced my ultimate fear, death!

I vowed in the days before my surgery (and afterwards when I had a twisted bowel and then later gallstones) that I would be a better person, I vowed to change, to live life better.

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So we are now a year past my last operation and what’s changed?

Well I took the kids out of school for a bit. Looking for a life of travel and life education. But when your solo parenting 4 its just not that easy. When you have a Aldi lemonade budget but want to live a Waitrose Prosecco lifestyle it was never going to work. Besides Jake struggled with the fact he still had to do “school” work.

I ate better for a bit. Then as the fear of the pain eased the chocolate & fish n chips creeped back in.

I returned to swimming and after a short break have now returned again.

I’ve took up doing a 20 min walk 3 times a week. (Up until we all got sick & the cold snap hit. It’s no fun walking up a steep hill with a pushchair when it’s like a skate rink.)

Unfortunately as a family we seem to have drifted further apart lately. Chris works long hours and travels away quite a bit with work.

Don’t get me wrong we had some amazing trips in 2018 but him working the hours he does and only living pay check to pay check is tough for us all.

So what has really changed?

Well

I’m still feeling lost with who I am. Where I want to be.

I had such plans last year maybe it was the adrenaline from the fear of dying that spurred me on.

It’s like we’re stuck in a bit of a rut waiting for a better life. Waiting for the kids to grow. Waiting until we’re in a better financial place.

What’s next?

Well I want to figure out what I can do as a career. I have often said in the past that I want to make this blog and social media a way of making income but I all honesty I don’t think I’m cut out for it.

I think I’ve lost my passion for blogging a little because I’m trying to hard to make it work as a business. I’ve lost sight of my ‘why’.

I need to crack on with my #fitfor40 because that big number will be here in a flash.

I need to figure out a way to get our family living a better relationship. Stop the fighting and negativity.

Make the most of life. Breath in every second.

Outlook.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll be back here in a year with the same post wishing I’d lived better for the past year. Maybe this time is the time. Our time to find a better way to live life!

I just want to say thank-you to all of you that have supported me over the past year and a half or more.

To those that live in my phone and take the time to comment, ask how I’m doing, and support from afar. You help me each and every day.

Those that are there in my real life I don’t know what I would do without you.

So thank-you from the bottom of my heart.

Until next time.

Nina x

Staying Sane Over The Festive Period.

Christmas can bring out the stress in even the most placid of people if your not careful.

Filling days with lots of activities, buying loads of gifts that are unneeded or unappreciated. Going overboard on the Christmas dinner menu and not practicing any form of self care!

So I thought I would leave a list here to remind myself and any of you of what to do to keep away the stress a little over the next few exciting weeks.

  • Create a  Plan – This for me is most important. I have to have a plan for the whole of December if not I feel overwhelmed or double book things in already busy schedule.
  • Say No – You really don’t need to accept every invitation and if your schedule is already full say no!
  • Cut down – There is no point getting into debt to pay for Christmas if you cant afford it dont buy it! The kids may moan that they didn’t get some thing yes I’m not going to lie and say they wont care because if they are anything like mine they will. This year however I am focusing on a couple of main gifts and a few little gifts If they moan they dont have much they will just have to moan. I’m not getting into any more debt or cluttering up my home for fear my kids will be disappointed!  That good old rule of “Something you want, Something You Need, Something to wear, Something to read,” Is a good thing to stick to!
  • Take some me Time – During the chaotic times take a moment to breath and relax, Paint your nails, go for a coffee, a walk in the park, even a bath when the kids are in bed.
  • Vitamins – Stress can be exaggerated if there are vitamins lacking in your body so take a supplement each day  I take Wellwoman Max vitamins which contains a multi vitamin, omega, and calcium as well as that important vitamin D thats lacking this time of the year!
  • Don’t attempt new recipes on the day of your big meal or party. If you really want to try something new why not have a trial run before your big day? However dont go overboard with your menu. Its better to spend time eating with your family not stressing that you dinner isn’t going to plan.
  • Create a Menu – Dont just wing Chritmas lunch create a menu for yourself with timings of cooking and preparing on it Above I said dont go over the top but If your like me I love to entertain and I have 15 for dinner so i really do need to plan my menu in advance!
  • Dont turn to Alcohol – There is nothing worse than trying to entertain the in-laws (or worse your husbands ex wife. Yes I have my step sons mum for dinner this year – Long story but we do get on)  than trying to entertain them with a hangover. or getting so drunk you end up arguing. So sure enjoy a tipple or two but dont go overboard.
  • Get some air – Ive mentioned getting some me time but getting out in the fresh air is also a good way to take 5. Even if its as a family, Just wrap them up warm and take them for a walk. pick up some fresh veg or head to the woods. just get some air.

I think thats all for the moment. If you can think of any more please leave them in the comments below.

Enjoy the festive season everyone!

Nina x

Dear Santa, I would like……. Gift Guide for a 30+ year old!

Dear Santa,

I think I have been good this year! You know its hard being a mum to twins twice so please give me a little leeway.

Here is my list of things I would love to receive under my tree.

  • Magazine Subscription – I love magazines I often have a read during the little twins nap time! Currently on my wish list is Country Living Magazine, Top Sante, and simple things.
  • Bath Caddy  – I keep seeing those instagram posts where people are in the bath with their wooden caddy holding their book and glass of wine! I have to make do with balancing mine on the side at the moment but I’d love to have a caddy for  my cuppa.
  • Canon G7X Mark 2– I really love my canon but its so heavy and not really practical for every day vlogging. At the moment I’m loving vlogging again. capturing memories and sharing them with others. the community that those vlogs then create. I just love it.
  • Spa/ Swimming membership – I keep saying I need to get fit, I really do need to but I have lacked motivation. I love swimming and loved going to the spa for a swim a few times a week but its so hard to fit it in with having two sets of twins and trying to run a house as well as trying to build up my business!
  • Iwatch, – As above I need to get fit I know a watch doesn’t mean I will get fit but I work well with goals to work to. My IWatch has well and truly died So I would like to update it and start following the daily goals of filling in the rings and walking 10000steps.
  • Family Portrait– I would love to get a cartoon style portrait of our family I want a physical one to hang in our playroom.

I dont think thats too many things on my list however I am aware there  are some quite big things.

And they will help me to be good all thorough next year hopefully!

Thank you Santa

Nina x

2018 A year in review!

Well I hope you’ve all had an amazing Christmas and are ready to head into 2019! Can you believe we are the end of the year already?

Health

So much has happened this year I started the Year poorly with Gallstones since then Ive had my entire Gallbladder removed.

All of the children came down with chicken pox! At least its all over and done with. You can only catch it once right?

I rejoined the spa that I was a member at so that I could start swimming again only to lapse after my gallbladder op!

I also vowed to become healthier and eat better! Again after my gallbladder came out I fell back into old ways.

As soon as the dark nights hit my mental Health deteriorated again and I’m currently working on reducing my stress and actively trying to do things to cut my anxiety!

Travel

This year I was adamant that I was going to make the most of life, give our family amazing memories and explore new places.

We started the year at a forest lodge in the middle of Norfolk  Soaking up the forest and hoping in the hottub!

We also headed to the Norfolk coast to the amazing Mill Farm Eco Barn It was such an amazing holiday for all of our family we spent time at the beach, evenings at the arcades playing the slot machines, We ate fish n chips and in true Spencer style took mystery road trips by looking at a map and just driving!

Before the Summer Holidays hit We hopped on a plane to our favorite destination for the littlest twins first holiday abroad. Lanzarote is like our second home!

Towards the end of the summer Holidays we surprised the kids with a train ride to France and more importantly to Disneyland! I think me and Chris were as excited if not more than the kids. Its just so magical.

Homeschool

We took the kids out of school to try our hand at home schooling. there just wasn’t enough hours in the day to get everything done.

I really admire everyone who is on the home school journey but at the moment it’s not for me. I barely have any time while they are at school to get everything done that I want to.

Work, money, Blogging

Ive learnt this year that I’m shit at money. I posted through the year about our family hitting crisis point. In life and in money. Unfortunately barely anything has changed

I really need to get a grip of our finances this new year. It a big source of stress for us all.

I haven’t been consistent enough online to hit those magic “influencer” numbers. I have to realise I have a family and home that come before you all. I remembered through the year though I share our life because I like doing it. I like being creative. I have lost a little of my creativity on my insta grid lately in favour of just getting the post up for consistency. I want to use my creativity more and set up photos yes I know people see this as fake sometimes but I like the creative aspect of it. My dad when I was younger was always playing around with setting up photographs of wine and cheese boards etc.

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I think that’s about it for my 2018 round up.

Thanks for joining us this year and being part of our family.

I hope you’ll stick around in 2019 for more chaos, adventures, and creativity.

Happy New Year.

Nina x

December 2018 Simple Festive Bucket List!

December is only one week away. I often get to December without a plan for the month.

I often feel overwhelmed with events going off and then end up going to none.

I watch people’s December vlogs people like Zoella and I think how festive each day is.

This year though I’m simplifying The festive period a little. As much as I can with 4 kids

The best thing I’ve found is to create a bucket list of things I want to do.

My 2018 December Festive Bucket List

  • Attend a Christmas Market. – I’ve been to the Country Living Fair which was full of festive Decor, gifts, and food. But I mean I want to wrap up warm, smell the gluvine see the lights & sample those festive treats.
  • Take a Santa Train Trip. For the past few years our family have been to visit Santa on a steam train ride. It’s become a bit of a tradition I think this has to be on my festive bucket list.
  • Take part in Vlogmas. If you’ve not heard of vlogmas where have you been. It’s a video a day from December 1st to Christmas Day. I never seem to manage it but this year I’d love to tick it off the list.
  • Drink a Snowball or two. – I know Its a little old fashioned but there’s something about Christmas that makes me turn to the snowballs. – If you’ve not tried it you’ve not lived it’s advacat, lemonade, a touch of lime & a glacé cherry to garnish.
  • Garden Centre visit. I’ve already visited one garden centre to see their Christmas displays but would like a visit to another before the festive season is over.
  • Have my New year plans in order. – I get to the new year with a plan in my head but that’s as far as it gets. I’m never organised enough to start my plans.
  • Winter walks. There’s a lot to be said for donning a pair of wellies, a few layers and a woolly hat and getting out into the fresh air.
  • Donate. I’m decluttering at the moment and I’m donating what I can to our local charity shop however I also want to donate a box of foods to the local food bank. I’ve heard about the reverse advent calendars and thought it was such a good idea.
  • Christmas lights road trip. We love getting in the car in our pjs with a snack and a hot drink for a drive around looking at everyone’s lights.
  • Movie afternoon Shut the curtains, turn down the lights grab a duvet and sip hot chocolate in front of one of our fave Christmas movies.

If your looking for a festive things to do I hope this has given you a little bit of inspiration.

What’s on your bucket list? How do you spend the festive period?

There is loads of festive content coming up during December if this is your thing hit that follow button so you don’t miss out!

Nina x

Odd Socks Day – Monday 12th November

When I was at school I had my fair share of name calling and bitchy comments directed at me.

I can’t say it was full blown bullying even though the names did make me really really sad.

However Bullying is something we are hearing more and more about.

40% of Children experience bullying each year.

Now I have children at school of my own I want to do as much as I can to keep them safe and happy and most importantly teach them to treat people as they want to be treated.

Bullying can affect mental health and can impact children right through their lives.

On Monday 12th November its Odd Socks Day

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Its a chance to raise awareness of individuality, Show that being individual is a good thing!

Wear odd socks and  donate to the anti Bullying alliance.

Of course you dont have to donate simply wearing your odd socks to stamp out the stigma of individuality is enough

Is your child

The Anti Bullying Alliance has some top tips for Parents.

  • If your child is being bullied you should reassure them that you can work though this together and that its not their fault.
  • We should teach our Children that whatever the circumstances Bullying is never acceptable.
  • Being bullied doesn’t mean you should retaliate .
  • Taking part in activities that can build your child’s self esteem could be a great way to build confidence and make friends away from the place they are being bullied.

 

 

 

If you need any more information or advise head on over to The Anti Bulling Alliance 

Nina x

Winter Term Bucket List.

So the kids have gone back to school this morning and I’m starting on my bucket list for this term.

There is 7 school weeks left of 2018 I know I can’t believe it. Where exactly did 2018 go?

There are lots of things I’d like to accomplish before the end of the year most of which are easier when the kids are at school.

So what better way to feel productive than make a list.

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Home

  • Move kids rooms. – I’m trying to move the little twins into what is now the big twins rooms and the big twins into bigger rooms that feel more separate in the hope they may not invade each other’s space as much.
  • Finish all the Christmas gifts and get them wrapped. – I always seem to be wrapping on Christmas Eve when I’m trying to also cook dinner.
  • Sort out the kids clothing. – During the last couple of months they seem to have grown a little fast. All four of them and are growing out of clothes.
  • Minimise – I don’t want to be so cluttered and unorganised in 2019 the most important thing I need to decluttering is the kids toys. Especially as I know they will be bombarded with stuff again at Christmas.

Work

  • Hit vlogmas. – For the past few years I’ve been doing vlogmas it’s where I started my YouTube channel even if I was very nervous and a little bit quiet. This year I’d like to make my December Vlogs feel super cosy and festive and and feel like I’m as good as some of those other mummy bloggers out there.
  • Create a better schedule for myself. I want to stick a little better to a work/ life schedule. I think I’m getting there I just need some little tweaks.
  • Reach out. – Send out some emails to potential companies that I’d love to work with in 2019. Fingers crossed someone would love to work with me.

That’s my bucket list for the winter term.

I’ve not put down any family related things as I don’t really have anything I really want to do. It’s not like the summer is it where you plan trips to the seaside or days out as you never can quite predict the weather.

Wish me luck. I’ll check back at the end of term.

Do you find it helpful to write a bucket list like this or do you prefer to go with the flow?

I’m such a list person.

Nina x