How to Embrace A Chaotic, Imperfect motherhood.

When you knew you were to become a mum you likely had an image of the parent you were going to be in your head. For me it was some kind of Earth mother, no stress, cloth nappy, breast feeding, living outdoors kind of mum. To be honest the image of this mum is still inside me somewhere. Then it feels more like a chaotic and imperfect life that you find hard to embrace.

We have images of what perfect means thrown at us all the time. A scroll through Instagram and there are mums creating reels of their perfect days out, there’s those mums who are creating artwork style snack for their kids. Now don’t get me wrong I love me a snack platter but I’ve not got time or patience to make penguins out of olives, cheese & radish. Besides no matter what shape some food is in my kids wouldn’t eat it any way.

Then we have a hop onto YouTube watching cleaning montages or “clean with me” vlogs Those carpets with the lines in and all of the rooms done in a min. I’ve even heard of someone trying to keep up with someone who was cleaning on a vlog not realising that it was actually sped up.

Now if the above are your thing that’s great. Everyone has a thing they love and are good at but we don’t have to do it all. We don’t have to have a show home and kids in matching pjs to be a good mum to our children. I went through the stress of trying to make mine wear matching. It just not worth it.

Mum and two kids sliding down a metal slide in the woods

I’ve made myself so overwhelmed trying to create a perfect life, trying to make our family look perfect from the outside yet inside we were hitting crisis point. Behind the closed doors I was failing miserably at trying to “get it all done” as the YouTube vlogs are titled.

It wasn’t until I had that moment that made me reevaluate how we were living that I really noticed just how much I had got sucked into striving for perfectionism.

The best way to stop the perfectionism cycle is to start being more authentic with yourself. Really look at how you live and how you want to live. The things you love, the time you realistically have.

5 ways embrace imperfect motherhood.

  1. Stop looking at social media as the bar thats been set for motherhood. Instagram is fabulous for inspiration but you must remember that often the squares you see are just one corner of the story. often behind that photo is lego all over the floor, yesterday’s pots still in the sink and a toddler that is only playing nice now because they were given sweets or chocolate as a bribe.
  2. Think back to your childhood moments, those moments where you were truly happy and in the moment. How many memories were preplanned, with matching outfits, penguin olives and vacuum lined carpets?
  3. Instead of striving for perfect, live for making the best life. Love what you live and live what you love.
  4. Surround yourself with positive energy. When we live more positively we are able to embrace those not so perfect moments more positively.
  5. Understand that imperfections are what make you human. We cant make ourselves perfect (in fact striving to become perfect can actually be more harmful) but we can change our reactions to our imperfect. Embrace that imperfect.

You may not be the perfect mum, but you are the best mum to those kids.It’s time to ditch that mum guilt, create your own groove, and start living a life with more fulfilment & passion for the things that truly matter.

If you want to be part of the community of imperfect mums who are in their groove head over to the CMT community ( Facebook.com/groups/Chaoticmotherhoodtribe)to have conversations about perfectionism, overwhelm, #mumlife and more.

See you next time.

Nina x

Bee Inspired – Mastermind My experience

So a few years ago there would be no way I would have put my hand up to be a part of anything like this.

The past couple of years however I have been stepping out of my comfort zone as you will have known if you have read previous posts.

Now if you are someone like me that has this strange scary desire to get up on that stage and be part of the event then this is the place to find out from an attendee and speakers perspective.

So I’m writing this in full on snow-globe effect, from my bed in floods of tears one moment then those post event anxieties and very very worn out!

Bee Heard

Ok let me take you back to May 4th 2021, the first day of the Bee Heard challenge, I had signed up after being in the virtual audience of bee inspired, I had seen the likes of Louisa Herridge, Jo Jo Smith, Emma Roscoe to name a few take that stage with confidence, with passion for their subject and I thought I could do that. I mean I have already done one or two speaking gigs in the past but nothing on this scale.

Anyway I went through the process of Bee Heard The challenge and it was great, It pushed me to go live more in my community, it helped me create something called a VBC – Or vocal business card so that when people ask who you are and what you do you dont fumble about or stutter. When you create and rehearse your vbc you actually give a clear insight into what it is you do!

Celebration

So the end of the challenge came – The End of challenge party with it was the premier of the Bee Inspired promotional trailer. I cried watching it. I had met jojo earlier in the year at a networking event and the work and passion she had put into being on that stage had given me the push i needed, the push to follow Dani who runs the whole IATQB hive, events and everything. Anyway I cried, for all the speakers, I cried because of the possibility of being on that stage.

Then winners were announced from the challenge, I won community engagement champion. Me I won! I had won because i had been a cheerleader for everyone in that group I had given encouragement, and helpful hints where needed.

At the end of the celebration I knew I needed to be on that stage. I messaged chris and said look, I want to do this. I think it would be a great platform, a great opportunity to learn how to structure my talk, I thought Dani would be a great coach to stop me feeling scared of the stage.

Bee Inspired mastermind

So I signed up! I took the plunge, now I couldn’t afford it in one go so i signed up to the monthly payment plan. I paid the first instalment and so I’m literally invested! The training sessions start with Bee Heard where Dan gives you a more intense version of her challenge. Then as the bee heard part finishes and we say goodbye to the ones who are not ready for Bee Inspired or not interested in the full mastermind. Then its time for Bee Inspired the mastermind. Dani is then on hand to help us get our story straight, There to help us make it structured and entertaining. There are experts from Dani’s team that provide extra sessions on confidence, on pr and more.

Friends

But The mastermind gives you so much more than just a talk, just the opportunity to be on that stage. The stories you work through, the moments you have you are going through them all with a bloody amazing cohort, those humans that take that mastermind with you will become such an amazing support to you.

We offered different things to help each other through, some woo stuff, some confidence coaching, support, encouragement and more. We connected so much during our training that when we met that first night it was just like we had been friends for years.

That cohort, my friends, that bee inspired family laughed together, cried together, laughed and cried separately but had each others backs.

Honestly those people, those incredible humans that I’m honoured to call my friends are as valuable as the mastermind itself.

Nerves

Now dont get me wrong there are times I wondered if I had what it take to get to the end of the mastermind let alone up onto that stage.

I had imposter syndrome many times after listening to the others rehearse their talks. There were times I wondered if I belonged in that world i found myself in.

Then on the night before after 2 weeks of emotional moments I had a panic attack, full on shaking, i had to message the group just for someone to talk to to calm me down. I felt really stupid, again maybe I thought I shouldn’t be in that world.

The following day i got up, got dressed and walked into that room and went on that stage and gave it my all.

When I came off stage I was shaking and I burst into tears. I have to say its one of the best, most nerve wracking, amazing, incredible heart pumping experiences I’ve had other than the birth of my babies.

I’d love to chat to you more if you are thinking of signing up to Bee Inspired just send me a dm in facebook or hit the email button at the top of the page.

Coming up Bee Inspired the event.

Nina x

If you are think you want to join the next cohort you can find out more here

If you fancy being in the audience to soak up the atmosphere of the event to listen to amazing speakers for business development and personal development then grab your tickets here

Top 8 What to pack on a road trip (With Kids)

We’ve not left our house for a road trip for over six months and If I’m honest I’m a little nervous to get my tribe ready for adventuring again. I’ve been putting in place little things to get us all organised. I have lived in a world of chaos for far too long. Having a bit of a packing list for our road trips whether that is a day trip or more Is essential to a less chaotic trip! Now just what do I pack on a road trip (with Kids)? Well find out with my Top 8 What to pack on a road trip (With Kids)

What Do I pack on a road trip (with kids)

First of all I need to work out what kind of trip we are heading out on. We often head out for the whole day not returning until bedtime sometimes even having an over night stop in a camper or airbnb. During that time especially with the little two needing a little bit off down time Its good to pack a few activities we can do together.

Here is my Top 8 What to pack on a road trip (With Kids)

  1. Sun Cream – We all know how important sun cream is when the sun is beaming down and there is nothing worse than worrying what you have been out too long in the sunshine unprotected – Slap That cream on and off you go!
  2. Snacks – Buying snacks while out can get really expensive especially when you are buying for a million kids. So I try and remember to pack a little picnic bag wit h treats in. They are also great as a bribe for getting them back in the car, or to leave the beach or walk miles.
  3. Flask or Two – I live from cup of tea to cup of tea and I have to say a road trip is only a road trip with 2 flasks. One for hot chocolate and one for tea. The kids get hot chocolate and I usually pack marshmallows and sprinkles too. and me & Chris get tea.
  4. Change Of Clothes – You can guarantee that if there is water around at least one of my kids will end up soaked top to toe. Or one will fall into some mud. A change of clothes is a must – Also If we end up by the sea without a swim suit at least you can say yes go paddle knowing you have spare clothes.
  5. PJ’s – As above imagine the kids have been playing in the sea you’ve had a hot chocolate and some fish n chips. its getting late and its an hour to home. Before we set off we put the kids into their pjs, then once we are home and everyone is half asleep we are not having to struggle to get them ready for bed.
  6. Basic First Aid Kit – Kids do i need to say any more?
  7. Activities for down time – If we are out for the day or overnight sometimes it’s nice to have a bit of quiet time. Playing a card game like UNO Or 20 Dreams is a great way to have a bit of downtime when on a day out.
  8. Toiletry bag – Containing reusable wetwipes, hand sanitizer, clean masks, toothbrush’s & Paste. – Again Kids & germs! The toothbrush is again a good thing to pack to use when putting PJS on.

I hope this helps you get back out there and get back to planning road trips with your family.

What To Do This Summer Holidays! 10 Ideas for Summer adventures.

AS the kids come to the end of week one back at school and mr sunshine tempts us every now and again my thoughts like a lot of others are turning to the Summer Holidays. But Will we be allowed to travel? Will Summer holidays go ahead or will our children be required to attend summer school to catch up? For me and my family we are always looking at planning our next adventure so Here are my thoughts on what to do this Summer Holidays.

In the past we have been on road trips within the uk over the Summer Months. Or even gone further a field to Lanzarote and even to Disneyland Paris. This year however I think it will be short Local adventures.

10 Ideas for Summer adventures in wording on right. Suitcase packed with hat, flipflops and sand on left.

You might think hold on a minute the summer is ages away but with holidays abroad limited or even off the cards all-together I think places will get booked up pretty quick this year! Especially in the popular resort towns areas like Whitby, Cornwall & The lake district.

It may surprise you to know the summer holidays are under 20 weeks away. So what better time to get planning those summer adventures.

10 Ideas for Summer adventures.

  1. For those that want a break from your own four walls taking a look on AirBNB for accommodation that is far enough to give you somewhere new to explore. We have used AirBNB a lot for uk breaks and ones abroad. Air BNB gives you a home from home and most is a holiday rental that you rent as a whole however there are a few on there that rent out guest rooms in their homes. I would say it would be best at this moment to check the search box for whole house rental.
  2. Hire a Camper or Motorhome. – We have done both over the past couple of years and its been an amazing adventure every time. If you are a big family like ours and wanting a getaway for over a few nights I would say the best option is a motorhome Like we had from Just Go. We had ours for nearly 2 weeks and even 6 of us in their was pretty comfortable. However for smaller families or over night stops a quirky camper would be ideal. The bonus with a camper is they fit on more roads and in more carparks so it’s easier to get about more. be wary of price hikes for campsites though as I know a few people have paid well over average for pitches this year.
  3. Daily road Trips – If you cant find over night accommodation that suits your budget how about taking a week off and having daily road trips some where new that is more local to you? Take a trip to a new town, village, country park, or beach. Pack a picnic a flask and some activities for the day and explore somewhere new.
  4. Mini Beach Vibes – Day times at the beach are often busy with tourists but what if you just went for dinner? `We live an hour and a half from our nearest beach but we have often got in the car around 2/3pm and headed to the beach to pick up fish n chips for dinner. then spent sometime playing without the crowds all around.Stay At Home….. – Last year during lockdown we had a stay at home festival this year I am hoping we can have a similar one but one that we can invite friends over to enjoy with us! We also had stay at home road trip to Europe. what stay at home adventure could you recreate? Stacey Solomon had a beach in her bathroom day but Im not quite ready for that amount of mess not yet anyway!
  5. Local Adventures – A popular idea lately is to do a treasure hunt around your local town there are loads of sites now selling treasure hunts for your local area. It’s a great way to see your town in a different light.
  6. Geocaching Similar to Treasure hunting you could have a go at geocaching- Download the app, create an account (For free although there is also a premium version) and off you go! It’s like a modern day treasure hunt. You use multimillion dollar satellites to find Tupperware tubs hidden around the globe! Our kids love this. Again it gets ou seeing places you wouldn’t have thought of going. It gets you outdoors and its great for the whole family!
  7. Garden Campsite – Similar to our stay at home adventures my kids love it if I put the tent up in the garden and say we can sleep in it over night! We get all the blankets, bean bags and fairy lights to keep things cosy then we read a book before bed. It’s often a late night due to the excitement but I love waking up after a night in a tent.
  8. Cinema Night – We have a cinema room in our summer house however last year on those warm nights we would set up the projector outdoors and project onto a screen we’ve put up on the patio. It’s become that popular over the past year that you can pick up a decent kits for home cinema nights at a great price now.
  9. Swimming – I couldn’t talk about summer activities without mentioning a swim now could I? – Open swimming, river swimming is nothing new however more and more people have been taking u=it up over the past year or so with the mental health benefits now being talked about more and more. Add in the fact that pools have been mainly closed for the past year a river dip is a great activity – Be careful though please use common sense – There is some safety advice here.
  10. Kayaking – For my 40th birthday I was bought a kayak. Its something that gave us some great adventures in the summer of 2020. Not only for tootling about on the canal and picnicking at the side of the canal but exploring areas from the angel of the water. There are the added benefits of exercise too!

What To Do This Summer Holidays

So there you have it! 10 ideas to keep you entertained during the summer months. Id love to know if you plan on doing any of these or if you take up a new activity this year!

This summer may look a little bit different to usual summer holidays however that doesn’t mean you cant have mini daily adventures!

Happy New Year – Thoughts on life lately

Yes I’m aware its a little late to be wishing you a happy new year but Ive only just go my get up and go (or get up and blog) and now its February! But I thought it was about time I opened my laptop and cracked on with some work! This virus isn’t going anywhere yet and you know neither are we as we approach week 5 of lockdown 3! So here are my thoughts on life lately. (a bit of a journal)

Happy New Year!

So the last time I wrote was in September when the kids went back to school after 6 months and now we are back in lockdown with kids off school again. Since then we have had another lockdown, Christmas and new year and all of January! Which I believe was 793 days long. Im always late for everything so when should my new year greeting be any different.

Obviously if you follow our daily adventures on instagram you will know what we’ve been up to since the last time I blogged and that my mental health took a dip again and that I am still trying to navigate my way back up again.

New year scene, black pointed happy new year hats on a plate with a red candle glowing in the background

Taking January Off!

But as the days get lighter and I put in more things to help get my head in a better place I can feel my head becoming less tangled and brighter days ahead. Looking back Its not just because of the pandemic that my mood starts dropping over the winter days so maybe I should start taking January off all together I have seen people like Zoe Sugg she often films Vlogmas then takes January to rest! I think its the way forward in future!

Thoughts On Life Lately

So we are in Lockdown 3 right now. The first lockdown was not too bad It was looooooong dont get me wrong. It was sad at times, but we got on with it, all of us, there was a new sense of togetherness even though we were apart. Lockdown two felt really really sad. The schools were still open so kids went in but shops were closed. There were more and more people feeling desperately sad when we should have been in that pre December getting excited for Christmas stage. This time is just the pits. It’s like if you could get worse than depressing then that would be where a-lot of us are.

Lockdown 3

This time schools are sending more work that the kids are supposed to be able to do independently. They cant or wont Not in this house anyway! People are trying to work and supervise school work and juggle littler kids while still keeping up with housework and everything else life throws at us. There is also still the dreaded virus going around which now is more contagious than ever! So we have the worry of keeping ourselves and our loved ones safe while we do our food shopping or while we head out to work if we have to.

Plus we have been at this now almost a year. The anniversary date the first covid patient was admitted to hospital has passed. So we are all feeling fatigued. Living with that stress for that amount of time has taken its toll on alot of us!

I’ve had a few weeks of feeling completely depressed and down about the situation, Feeling like I cant plan, Like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Struggling with schoolwork and trying to work and the household chores too. I mean why do we have 3 lots of outfit changes a day when were are not even leaving the house? And it looks like schools will be off until at least the start of March maybe even longer depending on if the figures come down and vaccines get to the desired amount of people.

Despite all this, This week I feel in a more positive mood. After having a chat with school about how I am feeling they have said the big twins can go in to use the Key worker facilities a couple of times a week as Chris is technically a key worker. (Please dont message me about how I’m using spaces that frontline workers should have or putting teachers at risk because Ive got enough guilt of my own about it. It was school that contacted me because we simply couldn’t keep up with the amount of work being set.)

I am putting things (In pencil) in the diary for the future, I have my adventure planning head back. Planning is literally one of my coping techniques. It really helps to plan future adventures. I have booked tickets to a conference that we go to every year. We are also planning a few home alterations that will make our space work better for us.

What may be the biggest thing though is I have been in contact with the local NHS mental health team to head back to some kind of therapy. There is such a big waiting list for this but I have been given some self guided sessions to start with. I will chat about it more in a dedicated mental health chat post but for now this feels like a huge step!

So despite the first month of 2021 feeling so very long and depressing things are going in the right direction and brighter days are on their way.

How are you? Really?

So now, how are you feeling? Feel free to leave a comment or send me a message on instagram or facebook and let me know. I’ve had more chats over messenger this past couple of months than ever before on my social channels. people feeling anxious, stressed, lonely even. Non of which is anything to feel ashamed about. All of which are valid and any of which I’m happy to chat through with you.

What Next? What content?

So whats next? What is coming up from me?

I’ve a few things I wouldn’t mind doing, a few projects I would like to have a look at but I’m not going to say for definite as things at the moment are hectic in the house to say the least.

But I would like a little help…

As we stroll though the year I would love to know what kind of content you prefer is it daily snippets of life via instagram, weekly catchups via a vlog on Youtube or lengthy blog posts like this? Not just from me but anyone?

Would you be interested in a roundup email?

What kind of content do you consume on youtube? Hauls, How tos? Vlogs? monthly favourites?

What area of my life would you be interested in seeing more of? Swimming, kayaking, daily life, routines with twins (Not that we have set routines at the moment) allotment life, Mental health?

Im aware I may be writing this and no one actually cares or even maybe thinks Actually I wish you would just not do any! but its always nice to thin one person may give me some feedback!

Over to you!