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The Big M! – Diary Entry 1,2 &3

Friday 1st March

Ok so a couple of  weeks ago I started getting anxious about a pain in my breast.

By the time a week had passed my anxious mind had decided it was breast cancer and that I should contact the doctors.

After a quick phone call she had called me in for some blood tests the following week.

Her thoughts about the pain and other symptoms I’d been having (tinnitus, heart rate changes, anxiety creeping up and up e.t.c.)  were the same thing I had thought for a while (well before the irrational fear of breast cancer came to my head) Menopause.

I mean I had a hysterectomy not yet 2 years ago and I had been wondering at what point my menopause would kick in because although Id kept my ovaries I was told that menopause would probably happen a few years earlier than it would have!

I have been saying to my mum for a while that I wonder if some of my little niggles are menopause symptoms.


Monday 4th March

Blood test day. I’ve grown more anxious about the pain in my breast and I’ve convinced myself I need to see the dr.

I think maybe I’ve not told her enough for her to make the correct decision.

Wednesday 5th March

Today I have been for my appointment with the doctor. Both myself and I think my doctor were  hopeful the blood tests would come back with the answer.

Unfortunately the blood tests were normal.

The doctor however is adamant that it is the early stages of menopause and that the oestrogen has just not depleted from my brain yet! although the brain fog I have would say otherwise!

So I’m on a course of oestrogen only patches or HRT. I have to go back in another couple of months and let her know how I’m feeling.

Meanwhile the pain and “oddness” in my breast she is sure is nothing to worry about but I’m to just keep an eye on it to make sure.

I have to say I really thought I would come out with a proper defined answer to all of my symptoms and in a way I have but I still cant help but worry when the blood tests came back normal!

So for now I have decided to try and put the worry out of my head (which for a self confessed hypochondriac is not easy) and start  my HRT of which I’ve chosen patches meanwhile I have self referred to Insight for some talking therapy to try calming my nerves and lift my depression.

I will of course try and post any updates.

* I have attached my first patch, which was straight forward I just hope it stays stuck especially when I go swimming later in the week.


Thanks for dropping by

If you have any tips to help me get through this chapter in my life they would be very much appreciated!

Nina x







A Sunny February Day in Matlock Bath

I’ve not been for a Day out In Matlock Bath since I was a child when I have a vague recollection of visiting Gulliver’s kingdom. Which is now no longer what I remember of it.

However when a friend posted about their day out in Matlock during half term I quickly added it to our weekend plans. We are always looking for things to do on the weekends to make the most of our family time.

We didn’t arrive until lunch time due to gossiping too much at breakfast. Luckily though I had packed a picnic so fed the little twins some finger snacks as we headed to find a play park.


When we arrived in Matlock Bath is was apparent that it is a popular place. Especially for bikers. Along the Main Street are 1hr parking bays which if your only passing through and grabbing a coffee would be a great place to park.

Travelling a little further and there is a small short stay car park for up to 3 hours. Again for a lunch stop or evening meal would be quite a good choice.

We parked a little further and up the hill to Gulliver’s kingdom in the all day car park.

Parking here is £6 for 24 hrs. A pretty average amount for touristy place I think.

The view from the car park is amazing so make sure you take a moment to take it in.

Cafes, restaurants & tea rooms.

There is an abundance of places to grab a bite to eat and obviously with only half a day we only had chance to visit one.

We chose “Forget Me Not Coffee Shop” Now, we caught them on a bad day. They had, had a flood in the morning due to the coffee boiler pipe coming unattached so they were a little frantic and there was a couple of puddles on the floor. However don’t let this discourage you. The menu looks fab and the coffee & cakes we had were delicious.

It is a bright shabby chic decorated coffee shop with lots of cakes on display.

Chippy tea?

There are some lovely looking places along the road. From coffee shops called “F Coffee” to good British institutes of the chip shop. We didn’t have a chippy tea on this visit however My friend told us the best one to go to is promenade and If the amount of customers is anything to go by then this must be true.

Gifts and sweets.

There are sweet shops, and gift shops selling lots of lovely things dotted in between all the eateries. This place is far from the seaside however it feels just like a quaint little seaside town in a way with all the little shops along the road.

Play area.

Ive already mentioned that we visited the play park as soon as we got there.

We actually visited two during our short day out in Matlock Bath.

I’ve said before we are touring the world one play park at a time.

The first we went to has a pirate ship climbing frame set in sand with a little boat the the little twins enjoyed playing in.

It was quite busy when we arrived. But didn’t discourage the kids from playing.

On our way from the car park I had spotted a smaller park so on our return to the car we decided to pay a little visit. It was much smaller just two slides a toddler sized one and a huge one on a wooden climbing frame. It may have been huge but Jessica still managed to climb to the top and slide down.


You can’t drive into Matlock Bath without noting the cable cars travelling high above the road.

The Heights of Abraham are now on our family’s bucket list apparently.

I have to say it does look a great visit. There is a play park , museum, caves and more.

I just have to have a little something to calm my nerves on the trip on the cable car.

We had a wander to the station to have a look when we met a couple who had just come down.

They were a little shaken by the experience.

But for those with a head for heights I’m sure it would be great.

Lead Mining Museum.
We didn’t go here as I’m not sure it’s a place for the little twins to run around and I bet it’s not really pushchair friendly. But when they are bigger maybe.

Gulliver’s kingdom
As I’ve said before I used to visit Gulliver’s Kingdom when I was a child but it’s completely different now a days.
There’s theme park rides, soft play areas, outdoor play areas , dinosaurs and more
It’s really a day out on its own.

There is so much more we could visit on a day out in Matlock Bath so I think we will have to plan another day very soon.

For more information on Matlock Bath check out this website *

Nina x

*All links from my site are not owned by me and such I am not responsible for content and security of them so use with own caution.


What happens when mums poorly? 10 tips to survive the bugs.

I for one am pleased that February is now here. It seems most of January there has been some kind of bug going around our house. At some point or another everyone has been poorly.


When Sickness hits and no one sleeps my anxiety soars and depression darkens.

I’m hoping we are almost through the sickness days now. But if your not and you still have mum duties you maybe wondering just how your going to survive.

Here’s a few tips that’s got me through the past month.

  1. Box sets. – I’ve took to Netflix and during nap times I’ve allowed myself to snuggle to bed with a cuppa and watch a cheesy Netflix box set. Some of my faves are the good place, Chesapeake shores, unbreakable kimmy Schmidt.
  2. Cuppa. I’ve changed up my cuppa and opted for a vitamin infused one. You can get some really delicious teas now that claim to help boost your vitamin intake. I’m not sure how true they are but it makes me feel a little better.
  3. Make sure you break cabin fever. Wrap everyone up warm and just have a walk around the block. There’s nothing big like more than being all warm and toasty indoors. So going out into the fresh air really can help you feel a little better.
  4. Online shop. Load your trolly with fresh fruit and veg and some easy meals for the week.
  5. Make sure you eat healthy but simple. When your tired and low don’t over complicate meals. How about just meat and a couple of different frozen veg. Frozen veg doesn’t need preparation and is just as healthy as fresh.
  6. Give in to tech. A few days of using their tablet isn’t going to scar them. Just let them play or watch kids tube. It will give you a break for a while.
  7. Get snuggling on the sofa. Put on a movie. Give them some snacks. Just relax.
  8. Sleep when everyone else does. Simple. Go to bed early with the kids. Take a nap if they do.
  9. Don’t stress about the house work. It will still be there when you feel a little better. Just do what you need to get by.
  10. Enlist some help. I’m so lucky to have my mum visit most days and help us around the house. I have to say over the past week she has done loads including cooking meals and helping bath the kids.

Bonus tip – Remember it will pass you will all be better soon.

You got this!

I hope this helps you get through those endless days of sickness.

Nina x


But what’s changed?

As I’m sure your aware in August 2017 I was told the news that I had a rare but life threatening pregnancy complication. I faced my ultimate fear, death!

I vowed in the days before my surgery (and afterwards when I had a twisted bowel and then later gallstones) that I would be a better person, I vowed to change, to live life better.


So we are now a year past my last operation and what’s changed?

Well I took the kids out of school for a bit. Looking for a life of travel and life education. But when your solo parenting 4 its just not that easy. When you have a Aldi lemonade budget but want to live a Waitrose Prosecco lifestyle it was never going to work. Besides Jake struggled with the fact he still had to do “school” work.

I ate better for a bit. Then as the fear of the pain eased the chocolate & fish n chips creeped back in.

I returned to swimming and after a short break have now returned again.

I’ve took up doing a 20 min walk 3 times a week. (Up until we all got sick & the cold snap hit. It’s no fun walking up a steep hill with a pushchair when it’s like a skate rink.)

Unfortunately as a family we seem to have drifted further apart lately. Chris works long hours and travels away quite a bit with work.

Don’t get me wrong we had some amazing trips in 2018 but him working the hours he does and only living pay check to pay check is tough for us all.

So what has really changed?


I’m still feeling lost with who I am. Where I want to be.

I had such plans last year maybe it was the adrenaline from the fear of dying that spurred me on.

It’s like we’re stuck in a bit of a rut waiting for a better life. Waiting for the kids to grow. Waiting until we’re in a better financial place.

What’s next?

Well I want to figure out what I can do as a career. I have often said in the past that I want to make this blog and social media a way of making income but I all honesty I don’t think I’m cut out for it.

I think I’ve lost my passion for blogging a little because I’m trying to hard to make it work as a business. I’ve lost sight of my ‘why’.

I need to crack on with my #fitfor40 because that big number will be here in a flash.

I need to figure out a way to get our family living a better relationship. Stop the fighting and negativity.

Make the most of life. Breath in every second.


I don’t know. Maybe I’ll be back here in a year with the same post wishing I’d lived better for the past year. Maybe this time is the time. Our time to find a better way to live life!

I just want to say thank-you to all of you that have supported me over the past year and a half or more.

To those that live in my phone and take the time to comment, ask how I’m doing, and support from afar. You help me each and every day.

Those that are there in my real life I don’t know what I would do without you.

So thank-you from the bottom of my heart.

Until next time.

Nina x


Happy new year!

Wait, what do you mean it’s already the 14th?

I know the year technically starts on January 1st but for me it starts with the first full week of usual routines.

That is today!


Last week we were still in Lanzarote so no usual routine there.

In years gone by I’ve worked back stage at the panto which ran into the first week of January so I missed the new year then too!

So new year what does that mean exactly?

Is it time to give up chocolate, alcohol or even meat like some of you who may be taking part in veganuary?

In years past it’s actually meant promising to be better at adulthood, parenting or just life in general.

However this year although I have goals to become better at life I want it to be a year where I actually stick to being a better version of me. Creating a better family unit where everyone remembers happy adventures.

So for the past few weeks I’ve been studying better ways to help me achieve my goals.

Health & me.

Remember this post a while back where I said I wanted to get fit before I turned 40?

Well as of today there is only 558 days (That’s DAYS!) left until I reach that the big 4 0.

So I need to start getting my ass in gear.

I’ve already started getting more movement into my day by doing my #20minwalkaday last week I also renewed my membership to the spa so that I can swim 2-3 times a week.

Eating better is also part of this. I need to make more meals from scratch the kids however prefer just fish and chips and McDonalds which is fine for a treat every now and again but I have a plan to get them helping in the kitchen and choosing healthier options. another post on this will be coming soon!

DeClutter  & Organisation

Ive been decluttering for the past what feels like 20 years! I headed to Skegness when I was 19 with a rucksack and a duffle bag with all of my possessions in! Since then Ive added and added to my stuff. Not everything in the house is mine however so we all need to get on board with the declutter and hopefully live more minimal once and for all!

I think with less stuff to organise I could in time become a more organised person. Its not something that comes natural for me so I will need to practice until I am!


I need to make more of an effort to spend one night (No Kids) with chris each month! a date night, morning whatever. but some time to remember who we were before the kids came along!

I also need to form better relationships with the big kids. Since the littlest twins arrived i haven’t had much time for the big two. I need to put more effort into giving us some quality time.

Work & Money

I’m not very good at money stuff. I never have been. But I really want to get on top of our household finances this year so that our out goings are less and or debts are all paid off!


All of these categories really deserve a post of their own to explain in more detail and to let you know how I’m getting in in each. I’m hoping that during the year I can post regular updates on each.


Thanks for taking the time to follow my journey

Let me know what you goals for 2019 are or if you set a resolution but have already broken it!

I love to read your comments it makes me feel a little more connected to you.

Nina x

I also did a little video on  my goals for 2019!