Good Morning and Happy Fathers Day to all the daddies out there!
Last Night My Hubby came back from a week of working away and although he came back jet lagged & groggy he still made time to make dens for the kids before bed! He still made time to ask me how I had been. He still made time to give out gifts from his week of traveling the USA & Canada!
This morning he is having a sleep in!
So while he is sleeping in and the kids are playing in their rooms I thought I would take this time to say thanks for being our children’s daddy.
Thanks for the times you made me a cuppa before rushing of to work while I fed our baby twins.
Thank you for all the dens you have built.
Thanks for all the times you have given up your shoulders.
Thank you for the Sunday evenings that you spend watching films with the kids while I take a bath.
Thank you for being my calm!
Thank you for being you!
Thank you for making me realise what family is! We love you with all of our hearts.
I am so lost and overwhelmed by this parenting / housewifing job that I have sought the help of a Mummy Life Coach.
Yep there I said it.
My home is not a home – it’s a cluttered mess of kids’ toys, shoes, clothes, bits of paper, and just generally too much stuff.
I’m so unorganized I never manage to finish my to do list.
I shout! A lot!
I have no inner peace no matter how many “Me time” moments I give myself (maybe I give my self too many and that’s why I never finish anything).
Anyway, I digress
As I said, I am having help from a Mummy Life Coach who says she can turn me from shouty mum to calm mum. A better version of myself!
I have only had her a week but my first task was to write down my perfect average day.
So a general school run day but one that’s the best it can be. How it makes me feel. What I’ve done to make it so.
I have to tell you that I started writing it today and ended up stressed that I couldn’t fit everything I wanted to into my day.
I think I’ve slumped that far into my rut that this it is going to be hard to get out!
After 4 attempts and 2 emails to my Coach I managed it!
The perfect average day task is meant to empower you and get you excited that in a years’ time it will be your perfect average day for real. You are meant to be able to feel the feelings of a years’ time and be able to transport yourself there almost.
I think most of us are guilty of carving out a groove in our life and then getting stuck in it. So much so even if we are not loving life, we either wouldn’t know were to start or fear what would happen if we made a change.
However, I have got to get out of my groove otherwise something is going to snap! Be that my sanity (already teetering on the edge) or my husband’s (again on the edge)!
So my average day includes
Getting up early
Making time for yoga, swimming, running
Preparing healthy meals and snacks
Spending more time as a family
Getting us all to pitch in with household chores
Spending time with friends
Working from home, earning a small income from my job
This sounds like a simple plan when written down – it’s just finding out which bits I need to tackle in order to get there.
Last week I took the children for their first swimming lesson at the local swimming pool.
It’s the first time they have been in the pool with only an instructor and other learners.
I had a lot of anxiety sat behind a window watching them fool around in the water. I swim, I love swimming and I know they need to learn but it doesn’t stop me worrying!
The teacher gets in the water with them. they seemed to enjoy their lesson I think it helped that a school friend of theirs was there too. Talking to the school friends mum helped take my mind off of my anxiety.
I know that in the long run I will feel better knowing they can swim and get out of difficulty especially as we holiday on a small island and love our beach days.
I think the only thing we can do is teach our children how to respond to difficult situations and try to teach ourselves too!
Swimming is just one of the things I worry about as a mum.
Sat behind the window I could feel my heart leap every time they looked like they were falling. But do you know what they stayed upright.
I’m sure I’m never going to stop worrying about them and even if I get over the swimming worry there will be something else to worry about!
My anxiety doesn’t just stop at the children’s wellbeing I also worry about my own health!
My heart often leaps when I find a new symptom and then I worry I worry its something worse than it is. I worry that if I go to the Drs I will be wasting their time!
I think I’ve always had a little bit of anxiety, however when my children came it became more apparent. The responsibility of looking after them lies solely with me. Ok my husband has a responsibility too but I think as mothers we are the first call when things go wrong.
I have found some ways of coping with my anxiety and not letting it get me too down but sometime there is a blip!
To give my self a reminder that I need to live in the moment is through another blog I created Living In The Here and Now – It’s somewhere I post when I find something useful or need a reminder of how to not get caught in the dips!
So Channel Mum & Cadbury are running a competition with a chance to win a one of 5 digital cameras and a box of Cadbury’s dairy buttons.
Here is my top precious moments.
I love having a snuggle in bed with my twins and then when they have fell asleep the feeling I get when I pick them up to move them and they put their arms around me tightly and snuggle in. Then I lay them in their own bed and they say Thank you Mummy I love you.
Being lost in my children’s world even if only for the moment. Getting down to their level and playing with toys or doing some drawing. I totally forget the to do list and my worries and we just play. I follow their imagination and they help me regain mine! I just love it.
I have recently joined you tube and one of the reasons is my stepson – Although we don’t have as many special moments we have found something that is a common ground for us! He is a teenager so often doesn’t interact with anyone let alone me! So If I ask him for help with something to do with cameras or YouTube related it often gives us a shared moment!
Our twins are constantly growing up and witnessing a proud moment with my husband really connects us! It can be that Jake has been given an award at school or that Melody has just learnt to spell a couple of words. I Know I look at him and he looks at me with pride. Proud that we made those children together!
Finally we have a brilliant group of friends that we only met after we had our children so our friendship is only 3 years old. However in this time we have shared many moments together from us girls all going camping together to watching all four of our children playing together without squabbling!
These moments I’ve mentioned above often hit me by surprise and bring me to tears! Other times they don’t register until afterwards.
They are moments that build who we are as a family and moments that I hope my children will remember fondly.
They are definitely moments I want to treasure forever – Children don’t stay that way long and we have to make the most of these precious moments because before too long we wont be able to pick up our sleeping child from our bed and I’m sure they wont hug as tightly.
I’ve never been very good making friends, however I have picked up a few along the way.
I have friends now and they are the most valuable group of friends I’ve ever had.
There are friends that I met in school and although we don’t talk or see each other every day I know they are there and they know I am here if we need each other.
There are friends I made after school the ones I made through work the ones that helped me in tough times and have seen me at my worst but yet still let me be a part of their lives.
There are friends I’ve really only just met but yet have been through so much together, hope we will be friends for a very long time to come.
There are friends that I’ve not yet met or maybe I’ve already met but we just don’t know we are friends yet (this has happened in the past)
And there is one friend who I’ve known most of my life and who I’m now married to.
Friendships aren’t always easy. There are tough times. There are times when you are close to hating each other.
But friendships are so important. Here are my top 5 of friendship
1. Tough times – I’ve been though some unpleasant times (Anxiety, depression, grief, jealousy.) My friends have listened, hugged, cried with me, and brought me tissues and flowers to cheer me up.
2. Good times– You remember that time when….. Those times when I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried my friends were with me! Hey of them is even the cause of the laughter.
3. Confidence – Some of the friends I have and have had made me feel like I could do anything. They have given me the confidence to try new things, to go to new places and to be the person I want to be.
4. Advice – As parents sometimes we struggle with day-to-day I often turn to my friends for help when I’m struggling with something.
5. Be there. – Friendship also means I am there for my friends when they need me. I don’t judge don’t mock and can also be there with the tissues and hugs and flowers if need be! I can also make copious amounts of tea.
I have lost friends along the way too. Some times it’s for the best. Sometimes we have friends that can be harmful to our self-esteem.
I know there are going to be more tough times in our lives, that’s life but I have friends now who I can turn to in those times and who can make the good times great so the bad times don’t seem so bad.
Thank you to all of my friends for joining me in my life and letting me into theirs.