Christmas With The Ex

When my husband “Chris” started a conversation the other week with “I know there are 14 for Christmas dinner…” I stopped him in his tracks and said I’ve already thought about it.

My step Sons mum has been quite poorly and she would normally be out on a Christmas Eve while we are having our big family Christmas dinner I thought how she might be home alone on Christmas Eve I thought about what if she came to us?

At one point we didn’t really get on You could say we hated each other. I mean she got together with my childhood crush when I was in full on crush mode. She knew that I had a thing about him and used to avoid us coming into contact with each other if at all possible.

When their marriage ended and I ended up with Chris we were like arch enemies however now we are a few years down the line we have become quite the modern blended family.

We often message each other with things about the boy, When I had my 2014 breakdown she understood and when she’s been poorly I’ve messaged to see how she is.

Ok were not best friends but like it or not we are family!

So I’ve invited her to come for Christmas Lunch – 1 more isn’t going to make much of a difference. Is it?

Some people may see our set up and think that its a little odd but if we can be friends then why not. As I’ve said we are family and we share the boy even if he is 18.

My parents are divorced and I tell you Its so much better now they speak and get on than it ever was when they would relay messages through me. Or when they would slag one another off all the time!

I just think there is enough sadness, and animosity in the world already why not have part of your family over for Christmas lunch even if that family is blended!

Nina X

Missing the Newborn Days

When I counted your age in weeks I understood you a little better,

I could distinguish what cry was for what,

I could put you down and know you would still be in the same spot when I returned from the toilet.

Yes the sleepless nights were long but they were my chance to breath you in. To get to know you.

When I counted your age in weeks I was still in that bubble, still in that euphoric place where you could do no wrong.

The new born days are beautiful.

It’s true what people say, make the most of them. Time goes so fast. They will have grown before you know it.

At 13 months. I’m struggling.

I’ve lost any ability to decipher your noises.

The sleepless nights now are because you are poorly and it breaks my heart I can’t make you feel better.

Sleepless nights now seem hard work. I can’t just feed you back to sleep.

When I put you down now your off in a flash.

You are toddling around more than you crawl.

There is no chance I can leave you to nip to the toilet.

Nothing 2ft high is safe from your grasp.

The toddler years feel so much harder for me.

But we will get there. I know we will I’ve done it before even if you haven’t.

For now just trust me when I say your safe, when I say im coming back, when you think I’m trying to poison you with foods you don’t like.

Oh littlest twins. Toddler years are such a bumpy ride. But We can do this.

We can do this because you have both developed your own little personalities.

You are learning everyday. Developing and learning.

You are amazing little humans just like your big brother & sister.

That’s why I wanted to write this little post. To remind myself now matter how tough it is you are amazing!

Mummy. X

Mum days! – A trip to the park.

Last week while the big kids were at forest school I headed out to our nearby town my plan was to have a cuppa and then mooch around the shops.

What happens instead was me & the baby twins headed to the park before meeting up with a friend for lunch.

Mason & Jessica although are hard work are such a joy sometimes.

Watching them explore the big world around them is such an amazing privilege.

Our trip to town really lifted me.

Don’t get me wrong, wrangling twins away from the splash area , (we hadn’t got spare clothes) taking bits of sand from their mouth and dealing with sandy clothes isn’t up there as one of my favourite moments. However if I have to endure those bits to bank the good memories then I’m happy to do so.

Not only did it’s save me spending money on tat I don’t need but it made me remember the good in the frugal simple things.

Nina x

Fathers Day but Daddy is Away!

This morning we should be making you breakfast in bed ok well at least a cup of coffee.

But instead you are on day 7 of working away!

I know I moan and am not the best house wife in the world!

Truth is when we first met and I became aware of you, I was a child. I crushed on you so much. Cried over the fact you didn’t even know I was alive!

Years later when you sent the letter to my childhood home I was sure you had sent it to the wrong person!

Then we got together and soon became a family you me and your son (his mum, her other  son and all the rest of the blended family)

I was always adamant as a teen that I didn’t want children!

Then I became a step-mum! I gave up who I was and had to think about another human being and he wasn’t even mine!

Then my cousin had her son – I was there outside the delivery room and one of the first people to see him! I couldn’t believe how amazing this little human was! Then when you came later in the year and met him I saw you holding him and knew I wanted to become a proper family!

I wanted a tiny human!

Fast forward 13 years and what a family we have! 4 children together (two at a time) and one teen who is now as much mine as he is yours and his mums!

I have watched you with our children! Watched you feed, change, snuggle with, play with, talk to and cuddle our children!

Now I know that the children need to work on some things like picking up their toys and stopping screaming at each other and I know that these things can stress you out.

I know that you have struggled over the past year as have I with everything that has happened but I also know how much you love our children. our family, our adventures.

We are so proud of you and how much you have achieved we just all wish you didn’t have to be away as much especially on fathers day!

I think what I’m trying to say in this rambling post is We love you, and miss you and think you are the best daddy in the world!

Thank you! xx

Nina & The Kids x

Friday Morning Cuppa & A Chat. – Sometimes it takes a stranger …….

To realise how lucky you really are!!

(This post has been sat in my drafts. I thought it had been published. I wrote it back in September. )

Your family, & friends and people you know to say hello to down the street can tell you how well you are doing, how they can’t believe how well you look after all you’ve been through and how lucky you are to have two sets of twins.

However sometimes it takes a stranger to tell you how well you look and how lucky you are.

Last week we went to register the new babes. Then we sneaked for a cheeky coffee before heading back for hubby to do some work from his home office.

We sat in Costa and a lady behind me told me how she was admiring my twins. I told her the story that we had two more at home. She said wow you are amazing.

She asked how old both the sets are and I told her 5 and a half and just 5 weeks old. She said wow how are you even upright let alone out and about. She told me how lucky I was to have not just one set but two sets of twins. Many people have said this through my pregnancy and after their birth, however this time it felt different.

Her words really sunk in and I looked at our new set of twins and thought yeh you know what.

We are really blessed.

It took us 5 years to get our first set. 5 heartbreaking years of 2 week waits, negative pregnancy tests, medical professionals telling us our only hope was IVF.

Now we are blessed with 2 sets of twins. Yes, I’ve been to hell and back over the past couple of months, however, I’m alive and we have a family that’s going to make loads of memories.

We now have 5 children between us. And it feels amazing. Hard work but amazing.

So never underestimate the power your words have even to a stranger!

Thank you, stranger, for making me feel as lucky as everyone keeps telling me I am!!

Nina x

10 Reasons – Why standing in the queue to have your photo took in front of the Coca-Cola Lorry will break you!

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  1. You will worry about the huge crowd
  2. The Huge crowd could mean possible terror incident.
  3. There will be people around you
  4. There will be people around you who are smoking and blowing it in your face.
  5. You will be told approx 100 times by your kids that it’s cold.
  6. The kids will demand a ballon about as many times as they have told you it’s cold.
  7. You will have to break up fights between your children.
  8. You will get to near the end of the queue and one child or yourself will decide they really need a wee and they will need it right now.
  9. The truck will not be as overwhelming as you thought it would be.
  10. It’s cold in November. And the trucks will be outside

Two Extra bonus reasons!

  1. Weep again when you realise you need a truck the size of the Coca-Cola lorry to transport your huge family.
  2. When you leave the queue and start to find somewhere to feed the babies. You realise that the very helpful Nanny Sue has taken the bottles out of the bag to clean them!

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  1. Though when you see the photos that the Coca-Cola Elves take you will shed a tear.
  2. Especially as it’s the first photo with all 7 of you in it!
  3. And when you hear the music you will shed another tear as that’s what you and your new husband walked back down the aisle to after you have said your vows.

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Village life

 

You wanna go where people know, people are all the same, You wanna go where everybody knows your name.

– Cheers Theme Tune  Where Everybody Knows Your Name by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo

When I was a teenager I did everything to leave the small town that I have lived in since birth. I moved to Skegness, Whitby, for the summer seasons, moved to a town nearby & even spent 6 months in Sheffield at 17 years old.

However, when I got together with my childhood crush (who is now my husband) I ended up back in my hometown. We planned on moving to Whitby after a few years however this never happened and instead we focused on making a family.

Now I’m a mum, I have actually made friends in the village! When I was growing up I had a couple of friends but we lost touch a little.

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They do say it takes a village to raise a child and we’ve now got 4. Our little town is more like living in a village.

Since being home from the hospital I really have a better appreciation for the village life!

I can walk around the block after school. Call into friends for a cuppa. Head to the coffee shop for breakfast and a chat with the staff.

People in the street that I’ve really only before said hello to ask me how I am and tell me how worried they were about me.

I feel so much stronger than I thought I would after all that has happened in the past few weeks and I believe it’s down to the support from not only my family and friends but also the people around the village that have asked how I was and shown me that people do still care.

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At the moment I feel lucky to be able to let my kids grow up in a village lifestyle. There are a couple of play parks that we can walk to – Yes sometimes they could be tidier, sometimes there is glass that idiots have broken. but this happens everywhere.

I am part of the WI in a nearby village and last week was the first time I’ve been in ages.

Out of the blue one of the members brought me a freshly made apple pie that she had made! I think really she wanted to meet the new babies 🙂 but it was so thoughtful and made me again feel lucky to not only be part of the WI but part of village life!

I also have my online village, the ones that give me a shout out from time to time, the ones that have been messaging me to see how I’m getting on and to give me moral support while I was in hospital, the ones that give advise on parenting and the ones that don’t even know I exist but keep me entertained with their vlogs.

 

Nina x