But what’s changed?

As I’m sure your aware in August 2017 I was told the news that I had a rare but life threatening pregnancy complication. I faced my ultimate fear, death!

I vowed in the days before my surgery (and afterwards when I had a twisted bowel and then later gallstones) that I would be a better person, I vowed to change, to live life better.

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So we are now a year past my last operation and what’s changed?

Well I took the kids out of school for a bit. Looking for a life of travel and life education. But when your solo parenting 4 its just not that easy. When you have a Aldi lemonade budget but want to live a Waitrose Prosecco lifestyle it was never going to work. Besides Jake struggled with the fact he still had to do “school” work.

I ate better for a bit. Then as the fear of the pain eased the chocolate & fish n chips creeped back in.

I returned to swimming and after a short break have now returned again.

I’ve took up doing a 20 min walk 3 times a week. (Up until we all got sick & the cold snap hit. It’s no fun walking up a steep hill with a pushchair when it’s like a skate rink.)

Unfortunately as a family we seem to have drifted further apart lately. Chris works long hours and travels away quite a bit with work.

Don’t get me wrong we had some amazing trips in 2018 but him working the hours he does and only living pay check to pay check is tough for us all.

So what has really changed?

Well

I’m still feeling lost with who I am. Where I want to be.

I had such plans last year maybe it was the adrenaline from the fear of dying that spurred me on.

It’s like we’re stuck in a bit of a rut waiting for a better life. Waiting for the kids to grow. Waiting until we’re in a better financial place.

What’s next?

Well I want to figure out what I can do as a career. I have often said in the past that I want to make this blog and social media a way of making income but I all honesty I don’t think I’m cut out for it.

I think I’ve lost my passion for blogging a little because I’m trying to hard to make it work as a business. I’ve lost sight of my ‘why’.

I need to crack on with my #fitfor40 because that big number will be here in a flash.

I need to figure out a way to get our family living a better relationship. Stop the fighting and negativity.

Make the most of life. Breath in every second.

Outlook.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll be back here in a year with the same post wishing I’d lived better for the past year. Maybe this time is the time. Our time to find a better way to live life!

I just want to say thank-you to all of you that have supported me over the past year and a half or more.

To those that live in my phone and take the time to comment, ask how I’m doing, and support from afar. You help me each and every day.

Those that are there in my real life I don’t know what I would do without you.

So thank-you from the bottom of my heart.

Until next time.

Nina x

Happy new year!

Wait, what do you mean it’s already the 14th?

I know the year technically starts on January 1st but for me it starts with the first full week of usual routines.

That is today!

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Last week we were still in Lanzarote so no usual routine there.

In years gone by I’ve worked back stage at the panto which ran into the first week of January so I missed the new year then too!

So new year what does that mean exactly?

Is it time to give up chocolate, alcohol or even meat like some of you who may be taking part in veganuary?

In years past it’s actually meant promising to be better at adulthood, parenting or just life in general.

However this year although I have goals to become better at life I want it to be a year where I actually stick to being a better version of me. Creating a better family unit where everyone remembers happy adventures.

So for the past few weeks I’ve been studying better ways to help me achieve my goals.

Health & me.

Remember this post a while back where I said I wanted to get fit before I turned 40?

Well as of today there is only 558 days (That’s DAYS!) left until I reach that the big 4 0.

So I need to start getting my ass in gear.

I’ve already started getting more movement into my day by doing my #20minwalkaday last week I also renewed my membership to the spa so that I can swim 2-3 times a week.

Eating better is also part of this. I need to make more meals from scratch the kids however prefer just fish and chips and McDonalds which is fine for a treat every now and again but I have a plan to get them helping in the kitchen and choosing healthier options. another post on this will be coming soon!

DeClutter  & Organisation

Ive been decluttering for the past what feels like 20 years! I headed to Skegness when I was 19 with a rucksack and a duffle bag with all of my possessions in! Since then Ive added and added to my stuff. Not everything in the house is mine however so we all need to get on board with the declutter and hopefully live more minimal once and for all!

I think with less stuff to organise I could in time become a more organised person. Its not something that comes natural for me so I will need to practice until I am!

Relationships

I need to make more of an effort to spend one night (No Kids) with chris each month! a date night, morning whatever. but some time to remember who we were before the kids came along!

I also need to form better relationships with the big kids. Since the littlest twins arrived i haven’t had much time for the big two. I need to put more effort into giving us some quality time.

Work & Money

I’m not very good at money stuff. I never have been. But I really want to get on top of our household finances this year so that our out goings are less and or debts are all paid off!

 

All of these categories really deserve a post of their own to explain in more detail and to let you know how I’m getting in in each. I’m hoping that during the year I can post regular updates on each.

 

Thanks for taking the time to follow my journey

Let me know what you goals for 2019 are or if you set a resolution but have already broken it!

I love to read your comments it makes me feel a little more connected to you.

Nina x

I also did a little video on  my goals for 2019!

Winter Term Bucket List.

So the kids have gone back to school this morning and I’m starting on my bucket list for this term.

There is 7 school weeks left of 2018 I know I can’t believe it. Where exactly did 2018 go?

There are lots of things I’d like to accomplish before the end of the year most of which are easier when the kids are at school.

So what better way to feel productive than make a list.

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Home

  • Move kids rooms. – I’m trying to move the little twins into what is now the big twins rooms and the big twins into bigger rooms that feel more separate in the hope they may not invade each other’s space as much.
  • Finish all the Christmas gifts and get them wrapped. – I always seem to be wrapping on Christmas Eve when I’m trying to also cook dinner.
  • Sort out the kids clothing. – During the last couple of months they seem to have grown a little fast. All four of them and are growing out of clothes.
  • Minimise – I don’t want to be so cluttered and unorganised in 2019 the most important thing I need to decluttering is the kids toys. Especially as I know they will be bombarded with stuff again at Christmas.

Work

  • Hit vlogmas. – For the past few years I’ve been doing vlogmas it’s where I started my YouTube channel even if I was very nervous and a little bit quiet. This year I’d like to make my December Vlogs feel super cosy and festive and and feel like I’m as good as some of those other mummy bloggers out there.
  • Create a better schedule for myself. I want to stick a little better to a work/ life schedule. I think I’m getting there I just need some little tweaks.
  • Reach out. – Send out some emails to potential companies that I’d love to work with in 2019. Fingers crossed someone would love to work with me.

That’s my bucket list for the winter term.

I’ve not put down any family related things as I don’t really have anything I really want to do. It’s not like the summer is it where you plan trips to the seaside or days out as you never can quite predict the weather.

Wish me luck. I’ll check back at the end of term.

Do you find it helpful to write a bucket list like this or do you prefer to go with the flow?

I’m such a list person.

Nina x

Surviving the half term.

Ok many of you have already broke for half term but for us. We are not quite there yet.

The last week lurgy seems to have hit the house including me. If it doesn’t go soon a fear that I may be poorly for half term.

Four children in a house for a week will get a little stressy I feel.

I’m creating a plan using the tips below to try and remain calm during half term.

So here are my tips to surviving the autumn half term.

  1. Get outside. Even if you feel full of cold. Do your best, wrap everyone up warm if you have to. If it’s wet get those wellies out. But get outside. Fresh air really tire people out and it is so good for everyone’s wellbeing. Even if you just head to the local farm for eggs, or walk round the block looking for the last of the conkers or to splash in puddles. Anything to get out.

  2. Soft play. – I know I know. It can be hellish in the holidays. But it saves them climbing on your sofas. You could take a book or your laptop and get a bit of work done. If you find a soft play with good coffee you on to a proper winner.

  3. Craft Box. – ok wait. Hear me out. Get out some paper on the kitchen table or floor. Let them create some autumn pictures or Halloween crafts. Use their own imagination. Maybe put some ideas on your iPad and show them a couple of they are older ones. They could be left alone while you wash pots or put a load of washing in. At the end you can just scoop up the newspaper and create minimal mess.

  4. Snack & Meal Plans. – if you already have plans in place and snacks at the ready you won’t have to deal with hangry kids. I think that’s enough said!

  5. Quiet time. – catch some quite time. I have 14 month old twins as well as my 6 year old twins. We try and get quiet time nap times. Put a movie on or let them have their iPads for an hour or so in an afternoon. Movie afternoons could be complimented by hot chocolate and popcorn.

  6. Online shop. I don’t know about you be my four are a bit of a nightmare to take shopping all at once. If i need to do a grocery shop. I try and book an online shop. It’s so much easier than trying to think what I need with children want want wanting all around the store.

  7. Local events. Search through Facebook or the local paper and see what events are happening nearby.

  8. Tea party. – I’ve spoken about food and hangry kids. But why not supersede your kids with a little tea party. Maybe a Halloween themed one. With spooky snacks and spider balloons.

  9. Breakfast in bed. Before the little twins came along there was nothing my big twins liked more than when I made tea and a plate full of toast and brought a tray up to my bed for a lazy breakfast.

  10. Go with the flow. Life is always an adventure in our house I always try to make a plan but sometimes as I’ve said people fall ill or have a bad night. So I try and go with the flow. See how everyone is feeling. Throw out the meal plans, get in the car and head to McDonalds instead.

Have

Leave in the comments what you le top tips Are for surviving the holidays.

Nina. X

Crisis Point, Identifying Areas of stress.

Over on Instagram last week I said that our home had reached crisis point.

I just wanted to elaborate a little and make some plans to fix it.

I feel like certain parts of our life are getting out of control and I think it’s affecting us all.

I know my wellbeing is suffering.

Things need fixing before it gets to the point of no return.

I thought if I say my plans out loud here it will make me more accountable.

There are a few areas of our life that need some attention.

I’m going to split them in to categories to make it a little easier for me to deal with.

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Clutter

Problem

So this I think is by far the biggest thing that we struggle with and that causes the most arguments!

I dont want to become a minimalist as I do enjoy stuff and I enjoy shopping (What women doesn’t!)I just need to minimise what we have. There is that old saying if it isn’t useful or beautiful get rid if it! This needs to be adopted more into our house.

Plan

Writing down all the different areas that really need decluttering. And working out which ones are high up on the list of places that stress me out! The places in use and every time I curse because I can’t find something.

Organisation & cleaning.

Problem

To follow up from decluttering,  I need to a better way to be organised. Paperwork, clothes, toys etc. Although we have great storage in our play room we never seem to tidy properly.

Plan

The plan is to create a better schedule so that organisational jobs get done throughout each day!

Fitness & Health

Problem

Since having my gallbladder out it was like I was given free reign of food again. so I’ve slipped back into old habits of eating processed rubbish, take outs and too much naughty stuff in general. This has not only made me put weight back on but its affecting my mood and is contributing to my fatigue!

Plan

So in July its my 38th Birthday which means I’m only 2 years away from hitting 40. My plan is to get #fitfor40 . I have spoken to my doctor who is helping me to see what areas i need to change. I obviously know what I need to start with so creating healthy meal plans for each month, and making sure I am active each day are on my to do list.

Debt

Problem

Money is not something anyone every talks about. I really think this doesn’t help when it comes to getting in debt.

We as a family have debt, just like alot of people however they never seem to shift. for too long we have just moved our money around and around, we dont have an emergency budget and live pay date to pay date.

Plan

We need to get our head out of the sand and start budgeting. We need to take hold of what we earn and pay off those niggling little debts.

Home School

Problem

I feel like I’m failing and unorganised. Im living week to week with no real learning goals or plans.

Plan

Although I know I need to chill out a little when it come to how much the kids need to learn I also know that we need to tackle certain things especially when it comes to Jake. So I want to create some kind of learning plan. Setting different tasks up maybe each month. and

Being a couple

Problem

The littlest twins are now 8 Month but they are still in our room and they are still having moment where they need settling through the night. This coupled with the fact that most of our time lately has been focused on my health issues and raising two sets of twins means that arguments have crept up, date nights have pretty much been non existent.

Plan

We need to fit in dates more often. Even if that just means a coffee one morning at the coffee shop – (No Phones) Or an afternoon at the cinema.

 

They are some of the areas I need to work on. One other big issue is the kids behaviour. The past few days have been horrendous. I haven’t  got the energy to talk about it here It has to be its own crisis category suffice to say there are issues with going to bed, jealousy issues with the babies, sibling fighting with each other.

 

Please feel free to offer me any tips on the above categories. I appreciate your comments and encouragement.

Nina xx

And Just Like That It Was March…… Word Of The Month

February has been and gone in the blink of an eye.

The word for February was Recover – Recover from my gallbladder op, All the kids recovery from chicken pox.

I did do a little too much to soon during February lifting the babies before I was really ready. Im now 4 and half weeks post op and I think im well on the road to recovery, My stomach muscles are still a little sore as is my cut on my bra line however I think I’m through the worst.

On to March

The word of the month for March is going to be Planning.

This month I have lots of exciting things i need to plan for.

  • Planning for my blog – I have lots of ideas  for posts but I need to email brands, do some work to improve my engagement, and work out which way I am going with it in the future.
  • Planning for getting back in front of the camera – I really want to get back into vlogging and making videos, I took a break while I was pregnant and now dont seem to have the confidence to star up again.
  • Planing for Home educating – Yup. I’m going to be taking the kids out of school so we can explore the world around us a little and visit different places.
  • Planning some road trips – We have a few trips planned already but want to get some more road trips planned now we have a bigger car & more time out of term time to travel.
  • Planning new home schedules – Now I am feeling better the house needs to get into some sort of order creating schedules helps me to fit everything in.
  • Planning a christening  or two maybe? – I suppose I better get the Summer Twins christened. Lets get on Pinterest and get planning!

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So as you can see lots of planning to be done. lets get cracking

Nina x

February Plans.

There’s so many plans being made at Spencer’s ARC this month. So many trips to be made and things to be done.

It was a little to much for my little square on instagram so I thought I’d let you know over here instead.

So what’s happening in February?

  • Well first of all as per my blog this morning we have a lot of recovering to do what with my op, nanny’s Sue’s flu & the babies chicken pox.
  • It’s my Nephews birthday this month. And in our friendship group one of the girls turns 7 and she’s having a bowling party so we have at least one party and one play date.
  • It’s shrove Tuesday (pancake day) this month so no doubt I’ll be cooking a million pancakes with at least 4 different toppings. If I’m feeling up to it we might have a bit of a pancake party.
  • Me & Spencer’s ARC Daddy are off on a date night to see Jason Manford at Sheffield City Hall. The tickets Came this week and to be honest I’d completely forgotten about it until I opened them.
  • We have half term – where we plan on a trip to see the Tim Peak exhibition at the National Railway Museum in York. You can actually take a look inside Tim Peaks capsule., learn to become an astronaut, and code the launch of a rocket.
  • We really need a trip to the seaside this month. I love the sea, and I’ve really missed it. I don’t think we’ve even seen the seaside since August last year.
  • I think Spencer’s ARC Daddy has another trip away this month too so we may have another solo parenting week coming up too.

That’s pretty much it apart from more planning for our new adventures and for me working on my blog a little more.

What plans do you have for February?

What do you plan to do in the Half term holidays?

Nina x