But what’s changed?

As I’m sure your aware in August 2017 I was told the news that I had a rare but life threatening pregnancy complication. I faced my ultimate fear, death!

I vowed in the days before my surgery (and afterwards when I had a twisted bowel and then later gallstones) that I would be a better person, I vowed to change, to live life better.

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So we are now a year past my last operation and what’s changed?

Well I took the kids out of school for a bit. Looking for a life of travel and life education. But when your solo parenting 4 its just not that easy. When you have a Aldi lemonade budget but want to live a Waitrose Prosecco lifestyle it was never going to work. Besides Jake struggled with the fact he still had to do “school” work.

I ate better for a bit. Then as the fear of the pain eased the chocolate & fish n chips creeped back in.

I returned to swimming and after a short break have now returned again.

I’ve took up doing a 20 min walk 3 times a week. (Up until we all got sick & the cold snap hit. It’s no fun walking up a steep hill with a pushchair when it’s like a skate rink.)

Unfortunately as a family we seem to have drifted further apart lately. Chris works long hours and travels away quite a bit with work.

Don’t get me wrong we had some amazing trips in 2018 but him working the hours he does and only living pay check to pay check is tough for us all.

So what has really changed?

Well

I’m still feeling lost with who I am. Where I want to be.

I had such plans last year maybe it was the adrenaline from the fear of dying that spurred me on.

It’s like we’re stuck in a bit of a rut waiting for a better life. Waiting for the kids to grow. Waiting until we’re in a better financial place.

What’s next?

Well I want to figure out what I can do as a career. I have often said in the past that I want to make this blog and social media a way of making income but I all honesty I don’t think I’m cut out for it.

I think I’ve lost my passion for blogging a little because I’m trying to hard to make it work as a business. I’ve lost sight of my ‘why’.

I need to crack on with my #fitfor40 because that big number will be here in a flash.

I need to figure out a way to get our family living a better relationship. Stop the fighting and negativity.

Make the most of life. Breath in every second.

Outlook.

I don’t know. Maybe I’ll be back here in a year with the same post wishing I’d lived better for the past year. Maybe this time is the time. Our time to find a better way to live life!

I just want to say thank-you to all of you that have supported me over the past year and a half or more.

To those that live in my phone and take the time to comment, ask how I’m doing, and support from afar. You help me each and every day.

Those that are there in my real life I don’t know what I would do without you.

So thank-you from the bottom of my heart.

Until next time.

Nina x

Belton House Visit Thank You To The Girl In The Green T -Shirt

Before I start this post I want to start by saying despite all of the trials of the day Belton house is well worth a visit. The outdoor play area is enormous. Its great to get outside and be in nature but know your safe. There is an indoor play that serves hot drinks and lovely cakes and sausage rolls.

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Friday April 6th.

Today we went to Belton house.

Now the day didn’t start well due to being up late, a tyre being flat on the pushchair, not being able to find the car key the list goes on.

When I got to Belton it was very busy we headed to the Discovery centre but couldn’t go in as there wasn’t room for the pushchair I could have took the car seats off but they are so heavy. After a wander around the garden and a visit to the loo ( That I had to bump the pushchair down 3 large steps to use a disabled toilet?) we headed to indoor play. After this it was time to change the babies. Here lies a problem. The baby changing facilities are down a tiny corridor and up two steps. So I had to use the disabled toilet no changing facilities. So had to do it in pushchair. Mason took the opportunity to wee. All over his vest which I dried using the hand dyer.

Then it was time for the reason we came. 50 things to do before your 11.3/4. The activity was a trail using sticks. The trail was not at all pushchair friendly but I persevered having to cross a bridge and go through a gap in the hedge praying I wouldn’t get a puncture. I was almost in tears by the time I had done. Trying to push the pushchair through deep grass. Navigating across a bridge then the only way to the other field was for me over some fencing that I assume had previously navigated by other pushchair users.

On the way back to the car the kids wanted a go on around about I said yes for two mins.

It was packed with big kids and little kids.

Almost in tears from my day out that I felt was a disaster I looked up and a little girl in a green T shirt was helping my son onto the roundabout telling the big kids to stop spinning while the twins got on. She helped my two onto the roundabout. She chatted with them and helped them on and off. That girl in the green tshirt saved our day.

Thank you little girl in the green T-Shirt you rescued our day.

I have to say. I did complain about the changing room situation and the staff were lovely about it saying they had complained on behalf of customers before so they are aware of the situation.

Belton house are having a major refurbishment so maybe they will update the toilet situation.

Nina x