Christmas With The Ex

When my husband “Chris” started a conversation the other week with “I know there are 14 for Christmas dinner…” I stopped him in his tracks and said I’ve already thought about it.

My step Sons mum has been quite poorly and she would normally be out on a Christmas Eve while we are having our big family Christmas dinner I thought how she might be home alone on Christmas Eve I thought about what if she came to us?

At one point we didn’t really get on You could say we hated each other. I mean she got together with my childhood crush when I was in full on crush mode. She knew that I had a thing about him and used to avoid us coming into contact with each other if at all possible.

When their marriage ended and I ended up with Chris we were like arch enemies however now we are a few years down the line we have become quite the modern blended family.

We often message each other with things about the boy, When I had my 2014 breakdown she understood and when she’s been poorly I’ve messaged to see how she is.

Ok were not best friends but like it or not we are family!

So I’ve invited her to come for Christmas Lunch – 1 more isn’t going to make much of a difference. Is it?

Some people may see our set up and think that its a little odd but if we can be friends then why not. As I’ve said we are family and we share the boy even if he is 18.

My parents are divorced and I tell you Its so much better now they speak and get on than it ever was when they would relay messages through me. Or when they would slag one another off all the time!

I just think there is enough sadness, and animosity in the world already why not have part of your family over for Christmas lunch even if that family is blended!

Nina X

Village life

 

You wanna go where people know, people are all the same, You wanna go where everybody knows your name.

– Cheers Theme Tune  Where Everybody Knows Your Name by Gary Portnoy and Judy Hart Angelo

When I was a teenager I did everything to leave the small town that I have lived in since birth. I moved to Skegness, Whitby, for the summer seasons, moved to a town nearby & even spent 6 months in Sheffield at 17 years old.

However, when I got together with my childhood crush (who is now my husband) I ended up back in my hometown. We planned on moving to Whitby after a few years however this never happened and instead we focused on making a family.

Now I’m a mum, I have actually made friends in the village! When I was growing up I had a couple of friends but we lost touch a little.

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They do say it takes a village to raise a child and we’ve now got 4. Our little town is more like living in a village.

Since being home from the hospital I really have a better appreciation for the village life!

I can walk around the block after school. Call into friends for a cuppa. Head to the coffee shop for breakfast and a chat with the staff.

People in the street that I’ve really only before said hello to ask me how I am and tell me how worried they were about me.

I feel so much stronger than I thought I would after all that has happened in the past few weeks and I believe it’s down to the support from not only my family and friends but also the people around the village that have asked how I was and shown me that people do still care.

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At the moment I feel lucky to be able to let my kids grow up in a village lifestyle. There are a couple of play parks that we can walk to – Yes sometimes they could be tidier, sometimes there is glass that idiots have broken. but this happens everywhere.

I am part of the WI in a nearby village and last week was the first time I’ve been in ages.

Out of the blue one of the members brought me a freshly made apple pie that she had made! I think really she wanted to meet the new babies 🙂 but it was so thoughtful and made me again feel lucky to not only be part of the WI but part of village life!

I also have my online village, the ones that give me a shout out from time to time, the ones that have been messaging me to see how I’m getting on and to give me moral support while I was in hospital, the ones that give advise on parenting and the ones that don’t even know I exist but keep me entertained with their vlogs.

 

Nina x

 

It’s like Internet dating through Instagram 

Today I went out for breakfast. While there I spoke to a lady who was asking about the internet for the coffee shop 


She had come to this particular coffee shop to meet someone she has only spoken to on Instagram. 

I got to telling her that I met up with a lady in Lanzarote that I had only ever spoken to on twitter. Who I’m now friends with and meet up with when we are over there. 

How funny is this world that we are friends with so many people in the digital world. That we have never met in the real world. 

It must be daunting to meet a digital friend in real life as you never know if they have shown the honest side of life. 

On Instagram especially you can sometimes only see the green grass of people’s lives. 

I try to show the honest side of my life on every platform but I think most of us are guilty posting cropped parts of life as they get more likes & coments. 

The ladies seemed to get on really well. I bet they will stay in real life contact for sometime to come.  

Have you met up with  digital in real life?

Did you have a good experience? Or was it a disaster?

Leave a comment below and let me know your story. 
Nina x

Lone Parenting – Pros & Cons

So hubby has gone away to work again!

Every time he works away the week or two before his mood dips and my anxiety heightens.

So I’m on my own again! It’s only a week this time and I know there are some out there that are single parents all the time! There are some out there whose hubbys are away 6 month’s at a time!

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But pros and cons of being a lone parent!

 Pros

  • I can watch tv at all hours of the night! – Sometimes when I can’t sleep I like to listen to a sitcom like Miranda or not going out. but when hubby is fast asleep I don’t like to put tv on!
  • Snuggles in bed with the kids – Okay we have snuggles most nights but when it’s just us I love that they fall asleep snuggled up to me! we chat about our day and plan what we are doing tomorrow!
  • I tend to read more when hubby is away – I can grab a cuppa and a book and sit and read once the kids have gone to sleep.
  • There is more hot water – one less bath means more hot water for me to have a bath!
  • Less washing – Hubby goes though more clothes a week than the kids!

Cons

  • I feel very alone at night – once I’ve locked the door I know the only people I’m going to see is my kids and although I love them lots it’s no substitution for my hubby!
  • I tend to eat rubbish when hubby is away  – It’s no fun cooking meals for people who would rather have a happy meal!
  • Reassuring hugs & kisses – If I have a bad day when hubby is away There is no one to hug away the bad feelings of the day!
  • I don’t really sleep very well when hubby is away – Despite sometimes having sleepless nights anyway, when hubby is away he tends to be in a different time zone and somehow I adopt that time zone too!
  • My anxiety goes through the roof when hubby is way – My brain is on over drive with what ifs.
  • There is no-one else to put the kids in bed – If the kids fall asleep not in bed I have to be the one to carry them to bed!
  • I feel sad that hubby is missing things – The kids do something that makes me proud, or we make a memory together , Hubby is missing them.

I miss him when he is away!

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I will get through the week, I will miss him then he will be back and I will be moaning about him again within days!

 

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World Mental Health Day – My Story

Hi All,

Today Is World Mental Health day, Each year The world health organisation recognises World Mental health Day

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This year the theme is psychological first aid!

You can read more about it over on the mental health foundation website!

To help with Mental health issues we are encouraged to talk more openly about mental health so today around the country hundreds of people will be gathering in a fundraising initiative called Tea & Talk.

So today I am welcoming you for a cuppa with me as I tell you my mental health story!

If you would like to know more about mental health day or Tea & Talk head on over to the mental health foundation website!

If you enjoyed this cuppa & Chat Please make a donation here

And please like comment and subscribe for more videos from me!

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Liebster Award

Last week when I logged into Instagram I found I had been tagged in a post by The Lovely Mum but Still Me 

She had nominated me for The Liebster Award Tag –

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Basically The idea is to promote new Blogs. You answer a series of questions and then set your own and tag up to 11 other new bloggers to do the same.

I thought but I don’t know that many New blogs! – So i took to Facebook to find some others that would like to be nominated!

Do you know I’m glad I did I’ve now connected with some other bloggers that I probably would have not connected with otherwise.

You see the thing about blogging is the community feel of it – Especially around the parenting blogs – They are like having an extended circle of friends. Others that are going through or have gone through the same things.

Rules

  1. Write a blog post about your nomination, displaying an image of the award.
  2. Thank the person who nominated you and include a link to their blog.
  3. Answer the 11 questions the person who nominated you asked you in his/her blog post.
  4. Nominate 5-11 other starting bloggers who you think deserve this award, and come up with 11 questions of your own for them to answer. I’ve actually got 13 
  5. List these rules in your blog post.

SO first to answer The questions I was sent:

  1. What is the biggest lesson that motherhood taught you so far?  That no matter how prepared you think you are things can and probably will turn out different to what you expected. 
  2. What’s your guilty pleasure? Clean with me video’s on YouTube – I often watch them instead of actually cleaning 😉
  3. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?  I always wanted to be a graphic designer but then in my final year my mum was ill and It was as if my brain suddenly forgot how to draw.
  4. What makes a great party for you? I love to host so I like to know everyone is having a good time. but ultimately a great group of friends and good food make a good party. 
  5. How do you deal with your fears? I have anxiety so there are many things I fear but my “normal” fear is spiders this is generally dealt with by running away or shouting the hubby.
  6. What does blogging mean to you? I started blogging when I struggled with conceiving and suffered with insomnia It was a bit of an outlet for my emotions and thoughts. A kind of therapy. Now its much more than that Its a community that I love meeting up with other bloggers and connecting on social media.
  7. How would you describe your style? Eclectic – I don’t really have a particular style – Id like to think I’m a little but boho but I also love my jeans & jumpers really anything I feel comfy in!
  8. What can’t you live without? My Iphone – Oh and my husband and kids 
  9. What is your most treasured possession? Did I just mention my Iphone 😉
  10. What do you love the most about yourself? My determination! 
  11. How do you want to grow old? My husband and I often say we want to be that carefree couple walking hand in hand on the beach. To be Honest since losing a few close friends and family all around 90 years young  I keep saying If I get to 90 and are as fit and happy as they were then I’d take that! 

 

It’s now time for me to nominate New blogs from around the interweb!

I thought it was going to be hard finding new bloggers out there but after turning to Facebook here I am with not just 5 or 6 but 13 new bloggers all eagerly  awaiting my questions 🙂

New Blogs for you to check out!

  1. Life Through Rosie’s Len
  2. Flump has two Mummies 
  3. Life Of An Auntie 
  4. Counting to Ten 
  5. Hooked
  6. The Unsung Mum 
  7. Someones mum 
  8. And then she said
  9. You, Me and the 6 C’s
  10. The Mediocre Mum
  11. Living with Jude
  12. Bell and Bear 
  13. Organised Jo 

 

My questions to the above bloggers

  1. What or who inspired you to blog?
  2. Who would you invite to a dinner party?
  3. If you had to give up one what would it be out of Tea, Coffee, Alcohol?
  4. Whats your favorite view?
  5. Who is your inspiration in life?
  6. Whats the best piece of advise you’ve been given?
  7. What is at the top of your bucket list?
  8. Is there anything you would do differently if you could?
  9. Whats the one place you would love to see if money were no object?
  10. What would you do with a lottery win?
  11. How do you relax?

So now its over to you!

Don’t forget to check out the blogs above and leave a comment or two

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Autumn is Coming – Finding Hygge

Hi All,

Thursday is the first day of autumn and for once I am ready for it.

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I am ready for the jumpers and boots and scarves. I’m ready  to take the kids jumping in puddles. I’m ready for long Sunday walks in the woods to collect pine cones for crafting.

In previous years I have suffered more with my mental health in the cooler less sunny months. I’m not sure It’s as bad as seasonal effective disorder but I do feel more anxiety.

So this year I am preparing for the duller days in advance. So far I have bought a new bulb for my lumie light so that I can wake to a sunshine simulation even when the mornings are dark.

I am filling my cupboards with vitamins and I am going to make an effort to get outside even in the rain!

A couple of weeks ago I bought a book all about Hygge  (pronounced Hue-Gah)- The Danish are the happiest nation apparently yet they have the longest winter days. however they embrace the dark and fill it with hygge.

I have set my self the intention to live a hygge Autumn/ Winter – Embracing the darkness filling it with cosy things!

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I have set up a Pinterest board to help me find inspiration and I have already reorganised my living room to a more cosy layout.

So what is Hygge?

Well there is no direct translation Hygge Is a noun, its thought to mean a warm and fuzzy feeling, cosyness and general feeling of inside warmth.

What are the main points to consider when trying to embrace Hygge?

Lighting – Low level warm lighting. Think fairy lights, toned down lamps, and more often candles.

Blankets – Warm comfy blankets, throws, something you can throw over you when it is a little chilly outside.

Activities – Non screen activities like needle craft, board games, telling stories, singing. to name a few.

Singing – This is thought to be an important part of Hygge. Singing releases endorphin’s making you feel good. as well as a whole host of other benefits.

Friends / Family – Although hygge can be embraced on your own why not grab a group of friends and or family and embrace together.

Food – Autumnal style food is considered hyggelig think soups, stews, crumbles, hot chocolate, mulled wine or cider.

So now I have armed myself with the principles of Hygge I will be trying my best to make these colder months feel more Hygge.

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I am not an expert this is just my opnions on hygge.